Posted by: LLL | 2013-01-17

need advice

Hi guys

I live with my sister in law''s child who''s supposed to be studying tertiary and when we accommodated the child they agreed with hubby that they will contribute money for groceries every month but since he''s with me he never contributed a year went by and now we begin another year.

i once asked him as to when is he going to contribute and later overheard him talking to his mother that i have been asking about it which i am not even wrong to ask because that was part on agreement. The worst is I’ m staying with my children and nanny hubby is in another province and i do groceries alone.

I’ m not a person who love complaining about who eat what or how much i just cook for the family and that is it.

yesterday my nanny tells me she didn’ t have breakfast because the boy ate the whole loaf of bread alone, i thought of telling him that he need to share and not be selfish around the house but the other thought then said why don’ t you tell hubby about what is happening so that he can deal with him himself. the worst is this is not the first time.

if u were in my situation what will you do with someone like this, mind you he is no longer going to school his hubby is aware of that and he can’ t even do any single chaos around the house what he does is to sleep and eat! He can’ t even help me to take the bin out.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Creamy Sparkle | 2013-01-17

@LLL U know what finish that deal as soon as possible,the other mistake we do as abomakoti we become more nicer to the inlaws,then u will be paid with hatred(but i dont mean that we should be rude),extended families is a NO,NO whether from ur side or from ur hubby,pls solve this as a matter of urgency that is ur nuclear family `s house,not a charity place,whereby at a later stage u will be seen as an evil,stone hearted makoti,Good Luck...

Reply to Creamy Sparkle
Posted by: Amasi | 2013-01-17

Was I saying your brother inlaw''s kid? My bad, I meant your sis inlaw.

Oh, some sisters has this strange belief that his brother family is required to feed her kids at a certain point or another. Be prepared to deal with it as well.


Reply to Amasi
Posted by: Amasi | 2013-01-17

Here is the first mistake.
When having a problem with the boy that needs to be sorted out by elders, do it via your husband. You should tell him to ask his brother to contribute. Now, you will look llike an evil monster inlaw.

On the issue of the discipline deal with him directly, eg most of the boys at some point have finished bread for other kids. That is a personal dealing.

So, ask your husband to talk to boy''s father about the end of the deal. The deal was that for the time been when he is still at school, so now there is no more school there is no more residence. Never try to raise the issue with your mother inlaw or brother inlaw.


Reply to Amasi
Posted by: T | 2013-01-17

Not worth it. Tell your husband, he must find a way of dealing with it - him and his sister! Tell them both that this is your problem, YOU want them to give you a solution, they must figure it out, discuss it, whatever they do, then get back to you by " date..." . It''s their problem, I''m hoping that will put it back into their hands somehow and they''ll deal with it in a mature way. Good luck!

Reply to T

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