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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012/05/24

Need advice

Sorry for such a long drawn out email, but I really really need some advice.

Please help, with any advice possible! What is there that I can say other than tell her to try be positive and note things down and work on what is wrong ???? I don''t know what to do!

My sibling is currently not in the right frame of mind and in my opinion seems to have fallen into some form of deep depression. She has sent me an email indicating that she is about to explode, she hates her life, is unhappy, she has failed miserably in every single thing, dad died too early, no father to confide in, married the wrong man to get out the house - questionable! Marriage was abusive, struggled to have a child who is a delinquent, marriage failed cause she obviously wasn’ t women material for her husband, because he cheated on her with our cousins wife, then divorce followed. Lost a house, a car, got involved with an alcoholic loser that is too lazy to work, how does my life sound, what a failure! I have no life, no home, a broken down old car and I am obese and a totally fat failure. And my mother could not be bothered to talk to me because of the choice of man I have and because I wont leave him. How does my life sound, worth living? I don''t think so? Im tired of everything not sleeping, unhappy, everyone hates me, I hate my job, im a weekling, and useless at everything. I have nothing im only a shell of a person, my family, my child my own mother hates me, im such a cailure. I have a very heavy heart today, Im in a dangerous space, Im about to snap and I fear the consequences of my freak out. GOD help me!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Serious depression needs and deserves proper expert assessment and treatment in its own right. From your message, it appears that she reconizes that there is something really wrong, but perhaps not that it is important for her to do something constructive about it, seeking appropriate expert help, rather than just deploring it.
She can, especially with the right sort of help, recognize HOW things went wrong, learn from the bad decisions she made, and transform her life by such learning, so as not to repeat the errors. She seems to be taking inappropriate responsibility, eg, for her husband's infidelity, which was his fault, and not for some of the decisions she herself made, which could be improved upon.
But your message is confusing, because it seems to start talking about your sister, and then seems to be talking about you, without clarity as to where the boundaries lie.
Your mother's opinion ( which may be being misinterpreted ) actually need not matter at all. You are each the captain of your own fate. But for Pete's sake, see a good local psychologist for a long discussion, a proper assessment, and a discussion of treatment options.
You absolutely can and should be helped, but turn to the right sort of direct personal expertise, rather than relying on a family which sounds as though they may all be too wrapped up in their own issues, to be useful to anyone else.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: migo | 2012/06/09

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Reply to migo
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/24

Serious depression needs and deserves proper expert assessment and treatment in its own right. From your message, it appears that she reconizes that there is something really wrong, but perhaps not that it is important for her to do something constructive about it, seeking appropriate expert help, rather than just deploring it.
She can, especially with the right sort of help, recognize HOW things went wrong, learn from the bad decisions she made, and transform her life by such learning, so as not to repeat the errors. She seems to be taking inappropriate responsibility, eg, for her husband's infidelity, which was his fault, and not for some of the decisions she herself made, which could be improved upon.
But your message is confusing, because it seems to start talking about your sister, and then seems to be talking about you, without clarity as to where the boundaries lie.
Your mother's opinion ( which may be being misinterpreted ) actually need not matter at all. You are each the captain of your own fate. But for Pete's sake, see a good local psychologist for a long discussion, a proper assessment, and a discussion of treatment options.
You absolutely can and should be helped, but turn to the right sort of direct personal expertise, rather than relying on a family which sounds as though they may all be too wrapped up in their own issues, to be useful to anyone else.

Reply to cybershrink

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