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Question
Posted by: LR | 2008-12-08

NEED ADVICE

Hi CS,

I am lady of 24 and my partner is 30, we live to gether with our little girl age 6 months. The thing is he is untidy, when going to take a bath he leaves his clothes all over in the bedroom, when he prepares food for himself he' ll leave things as they are not tidying up. So, i' m tired of this, i tried to tell him that he must help me by tidying up.

He tried to do it few times, but this morning when i told him about it he just got angry. He told me that i shouldn' t shout at him he' s not my child and i' m not his age. Please give me advice on that one, What is he trying to tell me.

Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why not just leave his clothes on the floor, where he leaves them, until he runs oput of clean or unwrinkled clothes ? He's a big boy now, at this age, and needs to start behaving in a more mature fashion. Tell him calmly that you won't shout at him like a child if he stops behaving like a child, and though you may be younger than him by calendar years, you're more mature in your behaviour. Nozi's method can be quite effective. Tell him youn want to be his partner and lover, not his nanny.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Xoli | 2008-12-09

Girl - you know very well what' s expected of you! he is a man and he doesn' t do women' s chores - you should do it, i mean i' m surprised by your statement " when he prepares food for himself"  - why should he do that when you are there, start playing your role of being a woman - the woman of the house.

Reply to Xoli
Posted by: LR | 2008-12-08

Hi Nozi,

Thanks for your advice, i have been thinking about to tell him straight to his face but wasn' t sure.

Thanks again

Reply to LR
Posted by: Nozi | 2008-12-08

His a spoilt little child, you have to take care of the baby, sit him down and explain that the two of you need to share the workload, he can pick up after himself at least, you are not his mom or maid.
Would he pick up after you, don' t think so, my hubby did likewise, took me longer cleaning up after him and I still have a day job so I put my foot down, when he wanted dinner I told him I never ahd the time because I was too busy cleaning up his mess, so dinner took a longggggggg time, he soon caught a wake up even empties his own ashtray which I had to do and I don' t smoke.So honey don' t feel sorry for yourself tell him where to get off, did he acquire a wife, mother or nanny here, don' t do it, yes there as things that a wife loves to do for hubby but not on a daily basis and he stilll having the nerve to tell you off.Leave him on day with baby let him bath her and wash her nappies and make her bottles, don' t spoil him, once they spoilt you' ll be sorry.Good luck.

Reply to Nozi

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