Our expert says:
When someone suddenly starts acting really ugly over something they allege happened in their childhood, I suspect two quite possible causes. One is that they have seen a quack or insufficiently / badly trained and highly naive "therapist" of some sort, someone with a bee in their bonnet, who specialises (though they wouldn't admit it) in persuading people that they don't have the problems they actually do have, but that they have the problem the counsellor wants and expects them to have, and which just happens to need exactly the sort of therapy that counsellor provides.
It's the Procrustean Bed of psychotherapy. If I remember rightly, back in the legends, Procrustes was an inn-keeper who had only one oddly sized bed. But when a traveller stayed the night, he either stretched them on the rack to they'd be long enough to fit the bed, or lopped off some of their limbs if they were already too tall.
Sometimes a similar effect is caused by uncritically reading some of the guff psycho-babbly books which make a lot of money by selling similar ideas in print. They can be comforting, because they generally absolve you of all possible responsibility for whatever you may have caused to go wrong in your life, and blames it all on other people, usually parents.
That your heart hurts at her cruelty is understandable, but what your head has suggested is the best policy.
Explain to her calmly and clearly that her recollection of whatver she thinks happened in her childhood is highly inaccurate, and her comments are cruel and unaceptable. That until she can work this through (with a different therapist if she happens to be seeing one) you don't wish to see or hear from her, as this currently brings nothing but hurt.
But that as soon as she can take personal responsibility for her life, and can spend agreeable and pleasant time with you, she will always be welcome to return.
I also wonder what part her new husband plays in her nasty change of attitude.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.