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Question
Posted by: Suss | 2010/07/28

Narcisstic parents

Hi Doc

How do I handle Narcisstic parents and where can I find more info on how to handle this? I have read a lot of stories on what it is on the interner but very view advice on what to do. My parents lies and stories has made me so confused, drained and completely lack of self esteem and paranoid about other people. I never realised what they were doing.

Because they are always so charasmatic and smooth infront of others, people call them the perfect parents, but they are always telling me how useless I am when we are alone and if other people give me any attention they will tell that person lies about me, but so ''concerned'' about me that the person belief them even if its things that I dont even know about nor ever have done. They do this untill I''m completely allienated from other people untill I think their is something seriously wrong with me.

My question what is the best way to handle this, without creating more problems for me . I have to see them they are my parents. Do you have any material I can read?

Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

In a reasonably complex situation like this, i would be best of all not to rely on books, but to see a real therapist to sort out the detailed nature of the problem and plan how best to deal with it in your own particular situation, rather than getting too lost in generalities.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/29

Try: Children of the Self Absorbed by Nina Brown  Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self - Elan Golomb  People of the Lie by M Scott Peck and Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller.

But it sounds like you could do with more help than just reading, esp counselling re laying down boundaries - how old are you? There are also Adult Child and Codependent support groups.

Good luck.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/29

In a reasonably complex situation like this, i would be best of all not to rely on books, but to see a real therapist to sort out the detailed nature of the problem and plan how best to deal with it in your own particular situation, rather than getting too lost in generalities.

Reply to cybershrink

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