Our expert says:
Within a supposedly committed relationship, let alone a marriage, of course affairs are unacceptable, as is lying about them.
Whenever one starts a potential relationship with someone who has been married before, its important to explore and find out why their previous relationship ended. Sure, he might have a personality disorder, whether an easily definable type or a more non-specific form. But they're not an excuse for behaving badly within a relationship.
If he doesn't acknowledge that these are real problems and that he needs to change them, with proper help, then he WILL not change. Only if he faces facts, and genuinely wants to change, can therapy perhaps help him to change. ALso, change when one is in one's fifties or older, is unlikely. You cant do the changing for him
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