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Question
Posted by: used | 2010/04/21

n loving feeling - comments

as per you question Cybershrink, he has been like this long before we even concieved. i am not blaming him for the lack of sex in our marraige, i am asking advice on how to address the way he does it. there is no foreplay, no making love, it''s wham bam and over. like i said, he is not interested in porn, toys ect. nothing to spice things up. Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, this is not a new thing, and he is lacking in skills and confidence. Probably the key thing as to whether this can be expected to improve is the question - does HE think, or could he be persuaded to think, that there is anything worth improving about his low sexual interest and skills ? If so, a counsellor, especially with a CBT format, could help a lot. If he sees nothing unsatisfactory about this situation, he might be persuaded if he'd agree to take part in mariage counselling. If he sees no problem, and refuses counseling, there's really not much that can be done to improve that situation.
And woman - no problem at all - perhaps used can check out your comments in your blog

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Our users say:
Posted by: Woman | 2010/04/21

Thanks CS :)

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Woman | 2010/04/21

Err, CS, I hope you don''t mind my jumping in here so rudely.

I had a woman who had exactly the same problem contact me on my blog. I wrote out an answer for her yesterday. It is in the health 24 blog section, you can just take a look there. Maybe the advice I gave to the other lady might help you, Used.

Sorry CS, you''re welcome to have my post deleted if you think it inappropriate.
Woman

Reply to Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/21

OK, this is not a new thing, and he is lacking in skills and confidence. Probably the key thing as to whether this can be expected to improve is the question - does HE think, or could he be persuaded to think, that there is anything worth improving about his low sexual interest and skills ? If so, a counsellor, especially with a CBT format, could help a lot. If he sees nothing unsatisfactory about this situation, he might be persuaded if he'd agree to take part in mariage counselling. If he sees no problem, and refuses counseling, there's really not much that can be done to improve that situation.
And woman - no problem at all - perhaps used can check out your comments in your blog

Reply to cybershrink

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