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Question
Posted by: Alam | 2011/07/22

My wife raped

One day some goons came in my house (Karanchi, Pakistan). They tied me up and raped my wife one by one before me. i was helplessly watching. I wondered my wife was enjoying the rape. Shall I divorce her ?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It is an absolute myth that women enjoy rape! Rape is a violation of your body. I strongly suggest that you seek professional relationship guidance as by the sound of it you were both left with scars after the ordeal.

You are welcome to send us a mail to helpline.sasha@gmail.com should you require a referral to a medical doctor or psychologist (please indicate which professional) and in which area you stay and we will provide you with a professional as close as possible to you. Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: SA CITIZEN | 2011/08/03

hey dude seems to me you are cause of the rape inicident. I know this may sound like hate speech but it''s the fact Pakistani Men a Freaked out Crazee and when they come to SA they mess our SA women around makng empty promises. so what ever you have done wrong in Pakistan would the result of your seeds sown.

Reply to SA CITIZEN
Posted by: XXX (the real one) | 2011/07/25

Please note the comment above was not posted by me !

However,you surely cannot believe that your wife actually enjoyed being raped,this is the time that you should stand by her.

If you are a real man,stand by her side and show her more love than ever before.

Reply to XXX (the real one)
Posted by: Woman | 2011/07/25

Alam, I am sorry that this happened to your wife and to you! I can imagine how terrible it must have been to you to watch the woman you love being raped.

There is one thing you must understand. Women have sex with men because they love the man. On the other hand, a man rapes a woman because he feels power. It has nothing to do with sex or the enjoyment of sex.

When they tied you up and raped your wife, not you or your wife had any power. Those men took all your choices away. So it is understandable that you feel anger and frustration. The first thing you must realise is that your wife did not want to have sex with those men. She did not enjoy it, she did not want it. And she probably feels very dirty right now.

The best thing to do is to allow your wife time to feel better, hold her, tell her that you know it is not her fault. Take her to a clinic to be tested for diseases those men might have given her, and make sure that she is not pregnant by one of them now.

Speak to you village elders and the Imam, and the police, so that these men can be caught and punished.

You have done nothing to deserve this - you are still the man in the house, your wife did nothing to deserve this, she is innocent. Divorce because of rape? She will feel her whole life like it is her fault if you do that. If you can, have her speak to a psychologist or a counselor too. And you too! you need to deal with this before it becomes a festering wound in your heart.

Treat her well, love her as much as you can and you will see you will have the best wife you can ask for. Good luck to you and your wife!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Kim | 2011/07/25

you make me sick!! who would enjoy being raped? and yet you have a nerve to come on site and ask if you must divorce her. You are a sick b*stard.

Reply to Kim
Posted by: exilestar | 2011/07/25

I can imagine, how cruel can one be? seek help brother. don''t look for somebody to blame coz it won''t anybody except you wife. be fair to a poor woman she did not ask for this. it''s all good

Reply to exilestar
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/07/22

It is an absolute myth that women enjoy rape! Rape is a violation of your body. I strongly suggest that you seek professional relationship guidance as by the sound of it you were both left with scars after the ordeal.

You are welcome to send us a mail to helpline.sasha@gmail.com should you require a referral to a medical doctor or psychologist (please indicate which professional) and in which area you stay and we will provide you with a professional as close as possible to you. Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru

Reply to Sexologist

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