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Question
Posted by: Brian | 2012/04/08

My Wife has no sexdrive!!

I''m highly sexual - my Wife was the same until we had kids. Now it always feels like a huge mission to get her to have sex. She denies that there''s a problem and we''ve discussed it on many occassions but nothing ever changes. Make no mistake - we have a good marriage, but this bothers me immensely and I find myself continually throwing out sarcastic comments and hints. She laughs but nothing ever changes. I know other women that are highly sexual and constantly want sex - to the point that I have to restrain myself from having an affair. A therapist is not an option. I feel absolutely lost and I know there are thousands of other Men out there who experience the same problems. When we do have sex, it''s amazing but the problem is that that she seems to feel that having Sex every 10 Days is fine - well it''s not!

Share you advice and problems with me.

Brian.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

your frst option should be therapy. if your wife is not listening to your concerns now, it is highly likely that without therapy she still will not listen to them. try brining home sex ed literature to indicate to her the wide options available - both in terms of sexual desire / needs and alternative sexual acts. she may ask you to respect her desire to have penetrative sex only once every ten days but can offer you outer / oral sex on a daily basis.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bell | 2012/05/03

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Reply to Bell
Posted by: Anonymous | 2012/04/15

I am 70 years of age,sheis 62 years. I have a strong sex desire,but my wife she does not want. I am worried. I masterbate every 2 days. What can I do?

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Max | 2012/04/12

Welcome to the club. Every married man i know complains about their wives lack of sex drive after marriage (me included).

You must just face it that men and woman are different. Her goal is to get married and breed - and to do that they need to show you how good they are in bed before this happens. This all happens subconciously for woman and they dont even know they are doing it.
Once they have the ring on the finger and the baby in their arms, your usefulness has ended and there goes the sex drive.
My advice is this:
1. If you want a marriage relationship to last, get internet porn and do unto yourself as often as you like
2. If you dont want this relationship then get out
3. If you are unmarried - STAY THAT WAY
I know from previous sexologist advice on this site that they will ask " whats all the fuss about the frequency of sex"  - BE WARNED - this usually stems from a woman sexologist who has no idea of the needs of men. Women can you without sex or masturbation for years - I know few men who could last 3 days (just look at the catholic priests)

Reply to Max
Posted by: XXX | 2012/04/10

Of course therapy is an option,this is the source of action you should follow.
I " like"  the Sexologist''s suggestion of having sex once every 10 days but she can then " offer you outer / oral sex on a daily basis" . Quite frankly that is a pipe dream,if she won''t give you penetrative sex,oral sex won''t be on the cards.
It is so sad that so many women (and some men) have no desire for sex and don''t understand the importance of sex in a relationship.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Woman | 2012/04/10

How can you say: " Therapy is not an option" ? Therapy should be the only option - it''s obvious that she does not understand what you are saying and that you don''t understand what she is saying. How do you suppose you will sort out the problem if you don''t have an objective professional third person (therapist) involved?

Would you honestly, really truly rather have an affair than talk it out with your wife?

Reply to Woman
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/04/08

your frst option should be therapy. if your wife is not listening to your concerns now, it is highly likely that without therapy she still will not listen to them. try brining home sex ed literature to indicate to her the wide options available - both in terms of sexual desire / needs and alternative sexual acts. she may ask you to respect her desire to have penetrative sex only once every ten days but can offer you outer / oral sex on a daily basis.

Reply to sexologist

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