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Question
Posted by: ALICE | 2011/02/10

MY TIME

Hi there. I am a middle-aged woman who finally had the courage to get divorced, once the children grew up and away. I am happy and relieved and feel free though a little scared at times- not sure of what! Anyway, now that my time is my own I am like a kid in a candy shop,so many things I''d like to do I just don''t know where to start! Where I live counsellors are lacking so I am asking you: how do I work out what I really want out of my life? Do I go with my entirely selfish feelings and spend my time doing just what I feel like at any time? eg. listen to music, write a letter, walk the dog, brush the cat, paint the birdcage, eat a chocolate! Do I go with my conscience and be the perfect housewife, keep accurate accounts, get involved in community affairs fighting crime and poverty? Do I go with what I always believed I would do if I were allowed- train horses, rescue kittens, be a sculptor, and an author, learn to dance, green the planet, save the world, be a shining example of living life to the full? I bet you can guess that all I have done so far is the selfish stuff! All the rest, is it to do because it''s expected of me? Is it to do because I know I have the talent and knowledge and expect it of myself? I have thought and thought and got nowhere. Currently I would label myself selfish and lazy and not caring that I am! I wouldn''t really like to be remembered that way!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, maybe you cannot do everything you can think of all at once, but most of what you list should be practical and possible within the coming years. Clarify what you like most, what is most useful and satisfying, what you would feel most proud of having don, and use similar criteria to decide some priorities. It is not selfish to do things that please you - maybe it's selfish to do nothing except what pleases you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/12

OK, maybe you cannot do everything you can think of all at once, but most of what you list should be practical and possible within the coming years. Clarify what you like most, what is most useful and satisfying, what you would feel most proud of having don, and use similar criteria to decide some priorities. It is not selfish to do things that please you - maybe it's selfish to do nothing except what pleases you.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Anon1 | 2011/02/11

im a 30 year old divorce women, and Im so content with my life.
I pretty much do as I please, come and go as i please.
my baby is 18 months old, and I life for him.
U not selfish, enjoy life, and live life to the fullist.
its your life, so what makes you happy.
at time I also get causght up being a responsible wife, cook, bake, and keep record of everything_ but u know if you''ve been a wife for a long time, you will still do the wifely things like cooking baking and cleaning

Reply to Anon1
Posted by: nice. | 2011/02/11

Can I have your life? i wish i had that! you are not selfish at all. it''s your choice to have this life so whatever you want then have it!! it''s got nothing to do with money! if you want it then have it! it''s all up to you. You are afraid what other people might think.
Go for it

Reply to nice.
Posted by: hh | 2011/02/10

After you dead and buried...believe me you will be a distand memory and with so many uncertainties - global warming - it may not be up to you to save this planet, afterall you did not make it...I say have fun........till you heart give in.....

Reply to hh
Posted by: hmmm | 2011/02/10

Live life to the full this is all you get...

After retirement I am going to buy a yacht sail it to barbedos and drink rum and have crazy island sex till my heart gives out :)

PS boat will be rigged to sink when my heart goes haha

Reply to hmmm

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