Our expert says:
That you were raped is awful, but not your fault. That you decided tgo tell nobody was probably really unwise, but it's a decision quite a few people in such a position do make. Your husband COULD handle such a situation, and your mother while being upset would probably also not be damaged by the news - both are more likely to be upset that you chose not to tell them or allow them to help you.
You need an expert opinion on the issue of HIV risk, but it sounds as though fportunately you were not infected, and if this is now sure, there would be no need to avoid sexual relations with your husband.
You ABSOLUTELY MUST see a psychologist ( not a GP ) and tell him everything about what happened - no doc worth a cent would think any the less of you, and they would be able to help you - but onl if they knew what was actually happening. I don't see any reason to belive you have any form of bipolar disorder or that drugs for that would help you at all.
You don't need a fortune teller, either - you will be able to make your own good fortune. But you need to see a psychologist to work through the trauma of the rape and to unravel the unhelpful ways you have deal with it so far. You WILL be able to get through this and may even emerge stronger than previously. But please stop blaming yourself for what horrible other people did to you, and get the help you need and deserve.
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