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Question
Posted by: Anono | 2011/07/25

MY SONS MOTHER THREATNING WITH SUICIDE

My ex on Saturday night acted as if she drank an overdose. She broke up with me 6 months ago and had another boyfriend and they broke up two weeks ago and she wants me back. My problem is we have a little boy of 22 months and I am scared she might do something to him - on Saturday night she said he is safe and I must not worry about him. What can I do? Is she just looking for attention? I can''t take a chance with my son. When she met me she told me she is biopolar.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like she was prepared to leave you for someone else, without respecting how that made you feel, but now her next lover has left her, she wants you to act as a replacement, probably temporarily, until she finds someone else. She may well be looking for attention or wanting to blackmail and manipulate you into doing what she wants. If so, as there is a child involved, especially one so young, that is irresponsible.
You are right, of course, to have a primary concern for the welfare of the child. Maybe this should be discussed with Child Welfare who should check whether she is reliably fit to care for the child and whether there is any risk to the child. And maybe, if she is under treatment as she should be ( definitely if she has bipolar Disorder ) discuss this also with the psychiatrist treating her.

Sorry for the delay in responding, but my instructions were ignored. This forum was supposed to be CLOSED to all messages throughout Thursday 21st and right through Monday 25th and only to re-open on Tuesday 26th. As my instructions were ignored I am horrified to discover a very large number of questions that should not have been possible to post, which have of course been unanswered while I was away. This makes me very angry and disappointed. I will try to respond as best I can, though very long message cannot possibly achieve full attention.

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Anono | 2011/07/27

Thank you so much for your response. I am however reluctant to get the Welfare involved.

Reply to Anono
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/26

Sounds like she was prepared to leave you for someone else, without respecting how that made you feel, but now her next lover has left her, she wants you to act as a replacement, probably temporarily, until she finds someone else. She may well be looking for attention or wanting to blackmail and manipulate you into doing what she wants. If so, as there is a child involved, especially one so young, that is irresponsible.
You are right, of course, to have a primary concern for the welfare of the child. Maybe this should be discussed with Child Welfare who should check whether she is reliably fit to care for the child and whether there is any risk to the child. And maybe, if she is under treatment as she should be ( definitely if she has bipolar Disorder ) discuss this also with the psychiatrist treating her.

Sorry for the delay in responding, but my instructions were ignored. This forum was supposed to be CLOSED to all messages throughout Thursday 21st and right through Monday 25th and only to re-open on Tuesday 26th. As my instructions were ignored I am horrified to discover a very large number of questions that should not have been possible to post, which have of course been unanswered while I was away. This makes me very angry and disappointed. I will try to respond as best I can, though very long message cannot possibly achieve full attention.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Anono | 2011/07/25

She did not take anything on Saturday night (not as far as I know but she did not OD) and she is not on medication for bipolar. But the threat aready exist that she might be thinking about it as the last two weeks she has been very emotional and pleading with me to take her back. She is working for her dad and he gave her a week off for emotional reasons and she is loosing weight as she is not eating proper anymore. Of course I am prepared to look after my son I am his dad, the only reason why haven''t taken him is because I don''t want to traumatise him even further. But she told me he was upset because she is crying so much. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I AM TAKING LIGHTLY IF SHE IS GOING TO HURT MY SON I WANT HIM AWAY FROM HER ASAP. I am trying to get hold of our mediator (phsycologist) but she is busy with consultations.

Reply to Anono
Posted by: ABC | 2011/07/25

Liza - Bipolar sufferers are not inclined to hurt others.

Reply to ABC
Posted by: Liza | 2011/07/25

You don''t say whether she actually did overdose - only that she acted like she overdosed. Did she tell anyone that she was going to commit suicide? Suicide threats should never be taken lightly.

Bipolar sufferers who''re stable on medication, are not in danger of hurting themselves or others. Bipolar sufferers who''re experiencing an episode(i.e. meds arent'' working or aren''t being taken) could be in danger of hurting themselves and others. If the latter is the case, you should perhaps call social services and get a social worker to investigate whether your child is in any danger. Perhaps she needs a stint in hospital to stabilize her condition. Would you be willing to look after your son if she''s willing to be admitted? This would be the optimal solution if she''s indeed unstable.

Just remember that being bipolar doesn''t make one an unfit mother.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza

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