Our expert says:
Good grief ! That really is an awful situation to face ! This is much more than just a bit naughty - as Mary says, this is RAGE. He might have dreaded feeling very embarrassed at having to admit to what he did and return things to the other boy ; maybe he was bothered about doing it at school, where others would see and hear about it.
Like Maria, I wonder how old he is, and whether he is usually well-behaved or has he been misbehaving in other ways, recently, too ?
What else is going on in his life ? Has anything significant ( to him ) changed at home, in the family, or at school ?
How did he stay at home ? DId he come back after setting out for school, or do you and your husband perhaps leave for work earlier than he leaves for school ? ( so, did he mislead you about going to school ? )
You need a calm but firm sit-down discussion with him. Just asking WHY is irresistable but rarely gets a useful answer. Rather ask him to discuss how he felt and what he was thinking about when he caused the damage - obviously he was furious, but what was he furious about ?
Remind him that he had stolen something belonging to someone else, who could have called the police. You had no choice but to take this very seriously, so as he caused the situation, there's not much point with him being angry with you. As he couldn't be allowed to keep stolen goods, how would he sugest you could have handled the situation better ?
Its obvious he shouldn't then have caused all the damage to the DVD, computer, etc., all of which means he himself cant use them, as well as presumably other people, too. How does he propose to get the items repaired, and how will he pay for these repairs ? Will he, for instance, do many more chores around the house and garden, at an agreed price, to pay towards the repairs ?
Hopw does he expect to convince you to trust him alone in the house again, or to allow him to use these items which he chose to damage ?
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