Our expert says:
Lets see what other parents suggest and comment here.
You're not losing him at all, though it obviously feels like it. At different ages, normal kids tend to become challenging, and explore their independence, discovering the awesome power they gain by saying "NO". And they exercise this exploration against whoever is the caretaker / authority figure in their lives - maybe more so against someone like you who they know to be good and loving and therefore basically safe to rebel against.
Its very likely that the events with his father and the new gf and new kids is highly relevant, and he now has more competition there for attention with the younger kids probably getting more of what he may feel is his fair share of adult attention. Being naughty and oppositional gets attention pretty reliably.
Consider seeing a personal counsellor to help you feel calmer and more confident and you will be able to ride this out.
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