Our expert says:
WOW. I was tempted to wait for a long weekend off to read one this long. Why do you give this selfish girl so much power over you ? Why on earth did you ever BEG her to spend time with you ? Why would you need that so desperately badly ? If she doesn't choose to come to a family event, so what ? She is NOT that important ! Its not compulsory for her to attend. Why play taxi for her ? Let her call a taxi for herself.
Why did you and do you ever rely on her for anything, when she's so unreliable ?
Dont lend her money - she doesn't deserve it. There is no law that says she should get everything she wants or asks for.
Dont lend her your car let her make her own arrangements to get to work, like anyone else.
Why on earth do you sound so DESPERATE that she should "hang around with you " ? It should be seen as a blessed relief that she doesn't.
Whhy on earth waste your energy getting angry about it ?
Who cares what troubles she causes at her work - thats for her to sort out, not you.
DONT try to help her. You are making it more difficult for her to develop the essential skills of helping herself.
YOu speak as though you and she are Siamese Twins. Its not up to you to make her see the light. Stop getting so involved. She's a big girl and has to learn to look after herself. If she makes some mistakes and finds some grief, that's fine - she'll learn from it.
Leave her to live her own life, and life your own.
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