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Posted by: Anon | 2011/09/23

my sister

My sister and I are a few years apart me being older, we never had a close relationship growing up and now that we are older we started talking more, we live in different countries so don’ t see each other that often. It’ s never bothered me when I was younger but now that I’ m older I have tried to make an effort as I realize how important family is and how nice it would be for us to be close.

Anyways she is in the country for a few days, her friend’ s wedding and naturally I thought we would spend some time together but apparently her schedule is jam packed. WTH can you believe this but if she was just coming for a visit (which she does once a year) she would expect to stay with me, I am really upset… . My husband never liked her says she uses people and this so proves him correct.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Family isn't always centrally important in our lives, but obviously it ofen is so. But its not an importance we necessarily need to create. And its always going to be difficult when you're only together briefly and live in different countries.
Maybe in the exact situation you describe, you should urgently tell her that you are not a hotel, that you would really like to spend time with her, and she is welcome to stay with you for some days AFTER the wedding , ro get to know you and so you can enjoy time together ; but during the days she plans to be exclusively wrapped up with her friend getting maried, you suggest that the marrying friend should provide accomodation, transport, etc. Invite her to add some "sister" rays on the end of her wedding visit, to spend with you, when you will be very happy to be her host. YOur husband could well be right, if she is simpl using you for free accomodation and travel while visiting entirely other people who ought to host her

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/24

Family isn't always centrally important in our lives, but obviously it ofen is so. But its not an importance we necessarily need to create. And its always going to be difficult when you're only together briefly and live in different countries.
Maybe in the exact situation you describe, you should urgently tell her that you are not a hotel, that you would really like to spend time with her, and she is welcome to stay with you for some days AFTER the wedding , ro get to know you and so you can enjoy time together ; but during the days she plans to be exclusively wrapped up with her friend getting maried, you suggest that the marrying friend should provide accomodation, transport, etc. Invite her to add some "sister" rays on the end of her wedding visit, to spend with you, when you will be very happy to be her host. YOur husband could well be right, if she is simpl using you for free accomodation and travel while visiting entirely other people who ought to host her

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Candy | 2011/09/23

My aunt recently came from Europe for a visit and she managed to spend time with old school friends, my mom and my other aunt. When my other aunt was living abroad, she would spend time with my mom. So it does make you think where her priorities are. But, why would your husband say she just uses people? How is her not visiting you proving him right? I''m just a bit confused about that.

Reply to Candy

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