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Question
Posted by: Me | 2010/01/07

My problem

Hi CS

Happy New Year to you and yours.

My boyfriend has a problem with me that I don' t share my emotions with him. I love him dearly but he doesn' t understand why I never share anything with me. I do share lots with him but he doesn' t understand why I don' t have opinions over certain things, for example a movie as such. I will admit I do have hard time expressing myself. I keep a lot too myself. He doesn' t understand why I don' t send him long e-mails or when we chat online during work. I hardly have anything to speak about. Perhaps my life is just so boring that not much goes on. It' s basically the same thing every single day. I don' t have much to share with him about anything. I do have my opinions. I will tell him if I agree or disagree on something. It this going to put pressure on us. He' s mostly concerned and upset that I don' t tell him how I feel in general. Not about him but just in general. I must be some kind of zombie. My life is quite boring. As long as he knows how happy I am with him. I don' t just keep him in the dark about things.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi ME,
Some of us find it easier to express our emotions with others, or even to describe them when we want to. Some people who find it easy, may form unrealistic expectations of others, wanting others to express themselves when they dont't want to or need to. Someone as comfortable with their own feelings and expressing them,as he claims to be, surely should have the emotional common sense to recognize that not everyone is exactly the same as he is, and could be made uncomfortable by him expecting a constant set of life sub-titles commenting on someone's feelings.
His expectations sound excessive. If you plamn for this relationship to continue, some joint couples counselling sessions might help him to get more realistic and reasonable

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/07

Hi ME,
Some of us find it easier to express our emotions with others, or even to describe them when we want to. Some people who find it easy, may form unrealistic expectations of others, wanting others to express themselves when they dont't want to or need to. Someone as comfortable with their own feelings and expressing them,as he claims to be, surely should have the emotional common sense to recognize that not everyone is exactly the same as he is, and could be made uncomfortable by him expecting a constant set of life sub-titles commenting on someone's feelings.
His expectations sound excessive. If you plamn for this relationship to continue, some joint couples counselling sessions might help him to get more realistic and reasonable

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