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Question
Posted by: Stepmom | 2008/09/15

My MOTHER in law!

Please give me some advice...Im going out of my mind trying to figure out why my MOTHER IN LAW cant stand me...
Im married to her son and his two kids..(they live with us)
Im good to ALL three of them, i do my best(no one was born with MOM or Wife manuals..Let alone STEPMOM manuals) anyway we have recently moved to another province and now whenever she sends parcels she sends NOTHING for me ..she sends for hubby, kids and my sister in law and her Boyfriend.This has upset me because of the MESSAGE that comes across...am i Perceiving this the wrong way?It was like that when we stayed in the same town BUT now its more obvious!I am hurt by this and my husband doesnt see a problem and believes her when she says that its not that she doesnt like me...what is it then???
Iam not upset about not getting anything iam angry like i said as to the MESSAGE!
What do i do?please help as i m also angry towards my husband cause he should be doing something about this!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its always nice to get explanations, but the problem may be THAT she doesn't like you, rather than why ; with the Why being important only if it is remediable, so you can solve the situation. Some mothers find it hard to accept that ANY woman could be good enough for their son, and maybe she still feels attached to the Ex, and doesn't like the idea that you have somehow replaced her. Discuss this calmly with your husband, and try to persuade him to join you in some sessions of marriage counselling to explore this and find a joint remedy for it

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Just M | 2008/09/15

*sigh* The joys of married life. Sounds like my MIL!

Reply to Just M
Posted by: Gillian | 2008/09/15

Dont let her get to you, I have a mother in law from hell, aka miz hitler. She has 5 daughter in laws and ovwe the years we' ve each had our turn to experience her wrath. I felt like you did at the beginning but after 18yrs I know the pattern all too well and Im better off without her and my hubby' s sister in our lives.
Just be yourself, dont be too hard on him and as long as he supports you in how you feel then its all good. Ive never told my husband not to see his mom when she and I did not speak for 9years. Mom in laws are something else, just chill and retaliate only if she causes problems between you and hubby and your kids. Good luck

Reply to Gillian
Posted by: Mom | 2008/09/15

I am yet to met a mother in law who actually likes her daughter in law.

I learnt if she liked you, he would not. :)

Grin and bear it and love your family. Dont let her run your life but dont shun her either as that will cause problems.

We all go through this, trust me!

Reply to Mom
Posted by: Tsholo | 2008/09/15

I think you' re over-reacting. Even if she doesn' t like you, just let her be  as long as she' s not interfering with how you run your family.

Reply to Tsholo

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