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Question
Posted by: Barbie | 2011/10/04

My mother and future step father part 2

Thanks for your reply doc. To answer your assumption, he does have “ little blue pills” . My sisters and I are just so insulted at his stupid story- like he thinks we are stupid. And we are insulted for our mother- that he thinks she is that stupid and also his disrespect for her to NOT act like a good man. I’ m going to try inlist my boyfriend to speak to him (because my boyfriend is also horrified at how my future step father is acting). My sisters and I have decided that we will have a ‘ family meeting’  with my mother. I think you are right that she is desperate for a relationship- her and my father divorced 11 years ago and this is the first serious ‘ relationship’  she’ s had. I also think that she’ s being overly generous because she doesn’ t want to lose her partner the way she did my father (they married young- she I think was 23 and my father was 22 I think). So yeah, how do you think we should approach her, again without her getting angry at our interfering and that?


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Yes, there's an implied insult buried within bad lies. A family meeting might work - not the popular concept of a confrontation unless this becomes unavoidable, but a clear statement as a group that you love her, care for her, and have good sound reasons for being worried for her, reasons which, if it were about someone else, she would also worry about.

Presumably you arrange a gathering for you all to meet with her, for a reason not too obvious or unconvincing, and start with some general discussion about how life is going for each of you, and then of your concerns for her, which only exist because you love her, you know she deserves much better than this, and can indeed relate to someone who would treat her with proper respect.

What do other readers suggest here ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Advice - seen this before......... | 2011/10/04

Do not have a meeting with your mother, she will discuss this with him and he will twist it around that you are trying to control her.
She will choose him and they will go off into the sunset together.
She will only return when all her assets are gone and he has moved on to the next one.
Hire a PI he has probably done this before..............

Reply to Advice - seen this before.........
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/04

Yes, there's an implied insult buried within bad lies. A family meeting might work - not the popular concept of a confrontation unless this becomes unavoidable, but a clear statement as a group that you love her, care for her, and have good sound reasons for being worried for her, reasons which, if it were about someone else, she would also worry about.

Presumably you arrange a gathering for you all to meet with her, for a reason not too obvious or unconvincing, and start with some general discussion about how life is going for each of you, and then of your concerns for her, which only exist because you love her, you know she deserves much better than this, and can indeed relate to someone who would treat her with proper respect.

What do other readers suggest here ?

Reply to cybershrink

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