Our expert says:
From your description, it does indeed sound as though he reaction to this guy, and her lavish generisity towards him, even from first meeting, has been excessive.
One would expect a sensible and adult woman to notice the signs of his irresponsibility - not paying off the car, running up fines she'd need to pay, and so on. It does sound as though she's heavily into denial, and maybe feels desperate to have a relationship, though this sounds like the sort of unreqarding and potentially damaging relaionship nobody needs.
So he's moody and perhaps unpredictable - you sa he's secretly drinking, might he also be taking what are coyly called "recreational drugs" as well ? If he'd actually had a heart attack, he would not be sent home so quickly, and would probably still be on prescribed meds.
But sadly, unless they are definitively diagnosed as severely mentally unfit, adults are allowed to be stupid even foolhardy.
I don't see how you can "save" her secretly and without her knowledge. That'd need more than magic. You can talk to her kindly and firmly about why you are all worried about this.
And stop worrying about his feelings - he has chosen to place himself in this position for the most selfish of reasons, and if he behaves like a complete loser, which is what you are describing, he shouldnt be protected from looking like what he is.
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