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Question
Posted by: TEEN | 2009-01-31

MY LIFE FEELS LIKE A MESS

I am 18 turning 19 in a month. I found out that my boyfriends ex-girlfriend is pregnant. Two months ago he assured me the relationship was over.
How do I deal with this?
Why do I feel like i can forgive him and carry on with our relationship while this girl is having his baby?
Why do I feel like I want him more than ever now and can let go?
Please advise me what to do. should I ask for my parents assistance.

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Our expert says:
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YOu seem to assume that if she is pregnant, it must be by him ? Are there good reasons for assuming this, or has he admitted it ? If he has indeed impregnated another girl, he has proved himself to be faithless and stupid --- there was absolutely no need for this to have happened. Why do you assume that he will not do again in the future, what he has obviously done in the past and the present ? On what basis would it be reasonable for you to forgive him ? Isn't there rather a lot of denial right now, with you wishing to pretend that this never happened and cant happen again ? Why would you want him more than ever now ? Are you in love, not with him, but with being in love itself, and with the guy you thought he might be ? YEs, do discuss this with your parents, and take their views seriously --- they can be a valuable support for you, and they've been around this naughty world a bit longer than you have



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