advertisement
Question
Posted by: Marry Marry | 2010/01/11

my late mother

My mother passed away when I was in grade 9.she was buried but she doesn’ t have a tomb stone.they only pu rocks and soil..so in dec while I was at home this aunt called me and said since im working I should save so I can make my mom a tomb stone.she said my mother cant rest in peace because of that.and people busy people ther ant they will end up burying someone on top of her as they wont be able to see that there is a person there due to rains and wind the soil might be swept away.my mom had a brother who only cares about himself.i wont talk about him,.and my father has two other wives..
So now,I had a top last year sometime.i posted about it then.im still struggling to get over it.so last night I had a dream that I was outside and it was dark.i knocked at this other door asking if I can stay for the night im afraid to go home.then this other uncle let me in.i found my cousins sleeping there..my mom was alo sleeping with a very small baby.she was very upset.she could hardly look atn me or open her eyes.she was sleeping c shaped.i asked her if I can sleep with her she said I should sleep at her legs as I am hurting her.i wanted to sleep behind her.i said ok,.so I tried holding the baby the baby just kept falling.i couldn’ t hold him straight..then the next morning I left feeling I should be with her.i should have told her I love her(that’ s how I felt after she passed away coz the last time I was with her I wanted to tell her I love her but couldn’ t,I wasn’ t raised like hat I gues)but somehow I couldn’ t.i felt so torn. And kept on seeing that sad face of hers.but just before I woke up I saw that she was very darck and had big eyes like mine,and she was light.i woke up cying so loud and I oculdnt stop it felt so real.can someone explain to me.im still feeling down.and im not used to any of my relatives they don’ t care.to be where I am I had to struggle on my own. Thank you

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

A tomb-stone is desirable, but not compulsory. It can be a nice way to remember someone. But in any properly run cemetary, they should keep proper records of who is buried where, so as to reduce any risk of someone else being buried there by accident.
I don't believe that your dreams mean that your late mom is upset with you, but rather they indicate that you are worried that this might be so.
If you can aford a modest tombstone, go ahead. I don't see why the rest of the family couldn't contribute to that cost. Presumably in the meantime, if you need to save up for it, a temporary marker made of painted wood or suchlike, could be placed there.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Mpho | 2010/01/11

Hi Marry Marry

Sincere condolences about the passing of your mother!

From african perspective, this is what i can say: Firstly i just need you to understand the importance of being cleansed after the abortion and after losing your mother. Maybe you should visit your mother and " o phahle"  - speak to her, just buy snuff and speak to her, tell her how you feel, cry if you want to but just do it. As for the tombstone - it' s important but it' s not like an urgent thing that you need to do. what' s important is for you to do a traditional ceremony of remembering your ancestors! your mother is an ancestor now and she needs to be acknowledged! please don' t take this lightly, i am a Christian and i learnt the hardway that you do not walkaway from traditions and customs.

Good luck my dear.

Reply to Mpho
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/11

A tomb-stone is desirable, but not compulsory. It can be a nice way to remember someone. But in any properly run cemetary, they should keep proper records of who is buried where, so as to reduce any risk of someone else being buried there by accident.
I don't believe that your dreams mean that your late mom is upset with you, but rather they indicate that you are worried that this might be so.
If you can aford a modest tombstone, go ahead. I don't see why the rest of the family couldn't contribute to that cost. Presumably in the meantime, if you need to save up for it, a temporary marker made of painted wood or suchlike, could be placed there.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement