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Question
Posted by: Mwaka Kalo | 2010-09-30

My Husband lost his job/debts

Its now one month since my husband lost his job. Am still working but earning so little that we can hardly depend on it. We have so much debts that he actually created. I try by all means to save as much as we can, but whenevre we have a fight he''ld ask for the bank card and by the time we make up and all is well  I aske for the card I''lll find no money in the account. I ask him, he''ll give me all sort of excuses. I want to open another account without him knowing, but the day he''ll ever find out, its going to bring so much of a big fight am afraid. Must I tell him about my intentions or keep quiet? We need every cent now for rentals and bills, and worst still, need to clear the debts. Kindly advise...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What on earth is he spending all the money on ? And is the money he is wasting his own earnings and savings, or your earnings ? You probably need a legal opinion ( check, there may be a free law clinic at your nearest Law School ) - but maybe you need to arrange for your own salary to be paid into a new accoun which only you can operate, so he can't waste it.
There may be some technical legal issues relating to HOW yopu are married, as to whether you are entitled to keep your own earnings and have your own account without him interfering, but you probably do have that right.
And if he is indeed wasting your money on unnecessary spending, you may need to consider divorce or at least separaion and living elsewhere. You have to get a proper understanding of your legal rights and obligations, to plan properly. And if you fear he may be violent in response to you asserting your rights, call POWA or some similar agency helping abused women, to check out your safest options.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Happiness | 2010-09-30

You are in what is called an abusive relationship. Do something about it or you will become part of the statics and penniless!

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-09-30

What on earth is he spending all the money on ? And is the money he is wasting his own earnings and savings, or your earnings ? You probably need a legal opinion ( check, there may be a free law clinic at your nearest Law School ) - but maybe you need to arrange for your own salary to be paid into a new accoun which only you can operate, so he can't waste it.
There may be some technical legal issues relating to HOW yopu are married, as to whether you are entitled to keep your own earnings and have your own account without him interfering, but you probably do have that right.
And if he is indeed wasting your money on unnecessary spending, you may need to consider divorce or at least separaion and living elsewhere. You have to get a proper understanding of your legal rights and obligations, to plan properly. And if you fear he may be violent in response to you asserting your rights, call POWA or some similar agency helping abused women, to check out your safest options.

Reply to cybershrink

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