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Question
Posted by: CK | 2010/04/19

My husband had an affair.

I just found out this sunday my husband had an affair 7 months after we got married, i have checked his email and i found shocking emails betwn them and when i confronted him about it he said to me, what was i doing searching his email he wants a divorce. I feel like taking a gun shot him. How deal with this becoz i want answers all i get is an arrogant bastard how is threating me with a divorce.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you glance back at the forum over the weeks, it is tragic how common this sort of mesage is. I don't think cheating is necessarily getting more common, but careless cheating, leaving electronic trails, seems to be becoming really common.
Chating within months of marriage suggests he was never seriously committed to the marriage anyway. And for him to now demand a divorce when discovered, is simply cowardly and pathetic. Do consult a good lawyer to ensure that you protect your rights from the start.
Is there anyone in his family, or even yours, with whom he has good communication and trust, who could speak to him about how seedy this behaviour is, and to urge him to consider marriage counselling to see what can be worked out ? If he refuses all possibilities of solving the problems he has so selfishly created, work with your lawyer to make sure he doesn't take this lightly, and rest assured that he has revealed character traits, perhaps hidden from you previously, which make him a really bad risk as a spouse, and the other woman won't find happiness with him, either, nor he with her.

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6
Our users say:
Posted by: CK | 2010/04/20

Thank you guys, my marriage is going down the drain, it hurts but i will be fine.

Reply to CK
Posted by: XXX | 2010/04/20

That is very sad,if he is not prepared to chat to you and stop it immediately (if he is worth saving),then you must dump him and move on.
Make sure you go to a good lawyer and get a good settlement and maintenance for your children.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: mr no | 2010/04/20

please forget about shooting him it''s not worth using violence just to get back at him, divorce him he sounds like an arrogant pig.

unfortunately in todays living it''s seems to become a norm where affairs are like second nature, i hope you get things sorted and that you can go on with your life without him.

Reply to mr no
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/20

If you glance back at the forum over the weeks, it is tragic how common this sort of mesage is. I don't think cheating is necessarily getting more common, but careless cheating, leaving electronic trails, seems to be becoming really common.
Chating within months of marriage suggests he was never seriously committed to the marriage anyway. And for him to now demand a divorce when discovered, is simply cowardly and pathetic. Do consult a good lawyer to ensure that you protect your rights from the start.
Is there anyone in his family, or even yours, with whom he has good communication and trust, who could speak to him about how seedy this behaviour is, and to urge him to consider marriage counselling to see what can be worked out ? If he refuses all possibilities of solving the problems he has so selfishly created, work with your lawyer to make sure he doesn't take this lightly, and rest assured that he has revealed character traits, perhaps hidden from you previously, which make him a really bad risk as a spouse, and the other woman won't find happiness with him, either, nor he with her.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Kristen | 2010/04/19

Divorce him and get on with your life, you deserve better.

Reply to Kristen
Posted by: Kristen | 2010/04/19

Divorce him and get on with your life, you deserve better.

Reply to Kristen

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