Our expert says:
Talk further with your husband. One can understand his sensitivity in not wanting to interfere ( and if he doesn't have children of his own, he may feel inadequate to deal with child discipline problems ). But he needs to understand that NOT working with you to implement simple discipline IS interfering, and in a most unhelpful manner.
It is best for you to talk to the child together, emphasizing that the rules and their administration are shared by you, that you do not differ on these principles. And calmly talk with her, together, and answer the questions he fears, before they arise. We are married now, this is OUR house, OUR car, and you are OUR daughter. We expect you to behave in a pleasant and civilized way when you are with us.
If she spends any time with her biodad, it would be best if he applied the same rules and penalties, but that will be up to him. She needs to know, though, that whatever may be acceptable in his home, in your home your own rules apply.
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