Posted by: kgomotso | 2009-11-30

my husband , a problem

Hi, since i married him there is no peace at home,always is his mother, or his sisters, or visiting his home. i am now tired of his stories , sometimes he takes our daughter of 3 years to visit his family and promise that she wil be back not long, but then my daughter will have to stay till who knows when, yesterday we had a fight because of this, he says he is taking her to his parents whilst i aslo wants to take her to my family, what must i do in this situation.i' m fed up by his actions, why can' t he see that even my family is my first priority.?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

The first priority should be the family you have together, not his family nor yours. Extended families are important and should be included but if they take over some boundaries should be established.
It sounds like your husband and yourself could benefit from some family coaching to establish your values and priorities and explore the importance of the extended family while respecting your own time and space.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: G-Dad | 2009-11-30

Best advice I can give you, move as far away from all family his and yours, no one' s family should get preference or priority, not yours and not his, already there is signs that you are not a family because of outside interference, I have been there and I know what I am talking about, it eventually ended up me chasing her family away from my house, I knew the only way we would survive this would be to move as far away as possible from all family, she refused, her mother is a nut case. We had similar fights about who must have the kids when.
My point is if you can not visit any of the family as a family husband wife and child, what image do you create for the poor child about family life.

Sorry to say your child belong to you and hubby and not the family, the only way to solve this will be to resettle or end up in a traumatized divorce with a lot of pain and regrets.

I eventually got the divorced and the trouble did not stop, her family still tried to brainwash her, today I live as far as possible away from them as well as my own family, the best thing I ever did, just wish that we had done it as the first sigh of her crazy family' s interference, we might have had happier relationship who knows might even still been married.

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