advertisement
Question
Posted by: Maira | 2011/10/04

My HORRIBLE MOTHER IN LAW!!!!!!!

Hi, I am seriously considering giving my mother in law a piece of my mind. I wrote in a couple of weeks ago regarding her attitude to my husband, the way her daughter is golden, et cetera and how it was making my husband feel (like he’ s a failure and that’ s why his family doesn’ t like him).

My husband went to the shop his mother works at to buy something and he said that he could see she wanted to talk about his sister but they never. Then a close friend went to go and speak to her with regards to her attitude to him and me (because my MIL doesn’ t talk to me either, hasn’ t in nearly five years). Well, my husband went to the shop again (it’ s a general store, we go there often) and he said he could see his mother was angry at him (obviously because our friend went to speak to her- our friend is close to my MIL’ s age and they do talk about things).

I am so angry at my MIL for the way she has treated my husband- everything that goes wrong or anything that happens or anything that he doesn’ t get he says it’ s because he’ s a failure, and when things go RIGHT he doesn’ t understand because he says he’ s a failure and I completely blame it on his parents because of their blatant favouritism and the fact that they never encouraged him to do anything, never forced him to do anything (the way they forced their daughter to do the finishing school thing- they could have forced my husband to learn how to play a musical instrument or something), they never guided him, never harvested his interests, never gave him opportunities, never did ANYTHING (and we did live in her house for a few years and I have seen it all with my own eyes). They just left him and now it is affecting him badly.

She doesn’ t even want to come to our vow renewing ceremony we are planning for the next year or so. I just really want to let rip at her. Would it be a good idea or not?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its a pity one can't divorce a mother-in-law, sometimes. Its a bigegr pity that you both feel its unfortunate that this nasty woman doesn't talk to you, rather than recognizing that you're really lucky not to hear from her. SHE is the failure, not him.
Does your husband really HAVE to shop at the MIL's store, rather than any other ?
Speaking angrily to her won't achieve anything useful - you won;'t be able to convince her or to help yourself to feel better. Think of her as too disabled in the emotional areas of life to be capable of understanding or behaving like a properly loving mother. Its sad, but stop, both of you, looking to her for anything but unhappiness. You don't need her, and her opinion as to whether your husband is or is not a failure, is worthless. Move on, and enjoy rather getting to know other people, people not pickled in their own twisted misery.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Laurei | 2011/10/06

I had the same problem with my MIL and husband. He was the golden boy for all the time he gave his salary when single, however when he got married, she wrote him off, treated him and our little family badly for years and gossiped to family about us, even up till today I dont know what she gossiped about. I askd her outright one day what her problems was, she said there was nothing. However she continued to turn families against us, making him feel inferior and like he was missing out on his sisters and parents. They excluded myself and him from many family things and we were terribly hurt, especially since my parents were both dead, we only had them to turn to, yet they were mean spiriited all the time.
We been married 18 years now, have a reasonably succesful life and are finanically well off. His sisters one who is married, the other a single parent, who his mom gossipped with, are now looking to us for money and food as their lives are in such shambles its tragic. We give where we can, but I cant help but think that each one of us must be careful what we do to another as the wheel turns and you never know what the future holds. These sisters and other family members never thought they would need us and yet many months, they rely on us for survival. Strange isnt it?

Reply to Laurei
Posted by: Obvious | 2011/10/04

CS and Mommy are right.
Shop elsewhere and move on.
Time to mature and count your blessings.........

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Mommy | 2011/10/04

you are letting her rent space in your head and for what move on I am sure this woman does not think about you half as much as you think about her..
So what has it got to do with you if she was not a " good mother"  hundreds of us grow up with horrible mothers and we dont blame them for everything bad that happens in our lives....

Your husband is a big boy now there are most probably a thousand things he can think of to be grateful and happy about...

Reply to Mommy
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/04

Its a pity one can't divorce a mother-in-law, sometimes. Its a bigegr pity that you both feel its unfortunate that this nasty woman doesn't talk to you, rather than recognizing that you're really lucky not to hear from her. SHE is the failure, not him.
Does your husband really HAVE to shop at the MIL's store, rather than any other ?
Speaking angrily to her won't achieve anything useful - you won;'t be able to convince her or to help yourself to feel better. Think of her as too disabled in the emotional areas of life to be capable of understanding or behaving like a properly loving mother. Its sad, but stop, both of you, looking to her for anything but unhappiness. You don't need her, and her opinion as to whether your husband is or is not a failure, is worthless. Move on, and enjoy rather getting to know other people, people not pickled in their own twisted misery.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement