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Question
Posted by: Dean | 2011/02/09

My girlfriend is insecure and depressed.

How do I tell her that I think she is insecure? She is going through depression and tried to commit suicide a few months ago while going through a tough time with her ex-boyfriend. I hold back on allot of things that one would talk about in a normal relationship, mainly because I am scared that it will make her crack and that she will think of committing suicide again... I am holding off on it until she is done with her therapy and in a better state of mind to handle normal relationship arguments.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Surelt she's aware that she's insecure ? And what sort of dim therapist could she be seeing if they have not identified this aspect of her problems and dealt with it ? Purple's response, and Maria's are spot on.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Purple | 2011/02/10

If you are always walking on egg shells around someone, you will eventually come to resent them.

I think maybe you need to speak with her and point out that you feel you can''t talk to her about every day things in case she goes off the deep end and that she must be aware of being so insecure and remember that not everybody is out to get her.

If after 6 months or so, there isn''t really an improvement despite the therapy, then maybe you should move on. Your mental health is also important.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/10

Surelt she's aware that she's insecure ? And what sort of dim therapist could she be seeing if they have not identified this aspect of her problems and dealt with it ? Purple's response, and Maria's are spot on.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2011/02/09

You are a saint, but don''t become a martyr. You could ask her permission to speak to her therapist about how you can best support her through this crisis. Or you could go for couples therapy.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Be strong... | 2011/02/09

she is lucky to have you at her side. You are helping her by giving her space and time to heal but i know it is very frustrating, not to mention draining. You need to have a talk with her and explain what your feelings/thoughts are. Don''t allow her to play thee guilt trip on you as then she and you will both stay victims. Tough love

Reply to Be strong...
Posted by: sighzor | 2011/02/09

sounds like too much baggage &  drama... dump her and move on

Reply to sighzor

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