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Question
Posted by: patsy | 2012/01/24

my friend still sleeps with son of 19 years old

i have been friends with my friend since school day. but what bother me is she and her son of 19 is still sleeping in teh same bed. when he was 13 years old i spoke to her but she dont listen. i told her that her son is going to get uncomfortable but she just ignored me, her son is very big build.look like a grown up man.the funny part of all this to me is that she is an educated person. got her honneurs degree but reason like this. she dont have a boyfriend since the child. i like her a lot but this is starting to worry me as i feel she is raising an unhealthy child and if there is something wrong with him one day it would be her fault.

what should i tell her as a friend. the child is 19 but in grade 10.failed. she sent him to school when he was 9 years old as she did not feel that time that he was ready for school.

please advise....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There seesm to be a flood of messages just lately, from people who are terribly worried about OTHER people's problems, rather than their own.
For a mother to choose to share a bed with as child of 19 is downright weird. It sounds unwholesome, but who knows what is actally going on. If he feels uncomfoertable about it, which would be extremely sensible of him, he's old enough to speak up and insist on his own bed ; and if she has a problem with that, then she really does badly need psychological counselling.
But it is their responsibility, not yours. The boy is legally an adult, and adults are expected to speak for themselves. and are allowed to do foolish things. Incest, on the other hand, is criminal, so they would be wise to have avoided that.

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Blommie | 2012/01/25

Very unhealthy indeed. Sickening, actually.

Reply to Blommie
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/25

There seesm to be a flood of messages just lately, from people who are terribly worried about OTHER people's problems, rather than their own.
For a mother to choose to share a bed with as child of 19 is downright weird. It sounds unwholesome, but who knows what is actally going on. If he feels uncomfoertable about it, which would be extremely sensible of him, he's old enough to speak up and insist on his own bed ; and if she has a problem with that, then she really does badly need psychological counselling.
But it is their responsibility, not yours. The boy is legally an adult, and adults are expected to speak for themselves. and are allowed to do foolish things. Incest, on the other hand, is criminal, so they would be wise to have avoided that.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2012/01/24

Is the son mentally, physically or emotionally impaired? I agree with you, it sounds very odd and unhealthy but we don''t know the whole story.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Kris | 2012/01/24

Ja no seems like she is substituting her son for a bf. Freaky no doubt.

Reply to Kris
Posted by: Regular | 2012/01/24

Really non of your business. But if you are compelled to talk to her be prepared for the end of the friendship.

Reply to Regular

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