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Question
Posted by: Worried Friend | 2008/08/11

My friend is throwing her life away!

Hi TXpert, thanks in advance for the help.

At last I understand that every person in history ever going insane was probably about a woman  -D

Okay, there' s this girl who I really love since I met her years ago. And for some reason we always drift apart because of issues in her family, all were beyond her control btw. Then we just get together again by total chance.

And, I always liked her, but the last while I realised that I really LOVE her, but the problem is, she has a boyfriend who I just met yesterday. Boy is he an ass!

Earlier this year her dad died, her mom got a new boyfriend recently. Now, this girl is about 14-15, and her boyfriend is 18. He started taking her to rough parties where she' s getting drunk and God only knows what else.

But with my limited understanding of psychology, I would say that promiscuous behaviour is common in people who experience extreme trauma. And, while I was there talking with her and her boyfriend I decided to use my knowledge of body language to my advantage.

I assumed the dominant position and looked him straight in the eyes, and even though he' s a lot bigger than me he was actually scared of me! And she assumed the neutral stance not favoring him over me.

I know she definitely feels something for me (she hugs me a lot, holds my hand in church when we prayed and after that she just slightly squeezed my hand etc) Something is not right, the squeezing of my hand says she still likes me. So, I made a date with her (in front of her boyfriend) for this weekend, we might be going to the movies.

I just want to tell her that I love her! When I went home I told her boyfriend he better look after her in the meantime. Yes, I might be a bit insane and hostile, but I love her for her and he just wants one thing from her...you can figure that one out.

I am going to call her later and just tell her that I only needed to hear she' s okay or something like that.

Please TXpert, help!

Thanx,
Worried Friend

PS: Im 14 by the way

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi

it sounds as if what you really want to do is tell her how you feel. This is of course a risk as she may turn you down and want to stay with her current boyfriend, but if you dont say anything then nothing changes.

So if you feel you need to tell her how you feel just be aware that it could go either way and you need to be prepared for disappointment in case it happens. It also sounds like staying her friend will be really important too, so make sure that that remains possible as well.

Good luck and best wishes

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