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Question
Posted by: Apple | 2010/11/18

My (ex)girlfriend of 7years

I once posted about my ex-gf (26) with whom I have a 6 year old and it had been 7 months since we broke up at the time of my posting. I mentioned I used to cry everyday on my way driving home about the break up.

Well, we are currently trying to work things out but she still has a lot of unresolved issues, most of which were the reasons we broke up. I asked her if she is sure that she wants us to try again after noticing that she is not really upbeat about the reconciliation. I told her we don''t have to reconcile for wrong reaosons as this will lead to more hurt in the future. She then suggested that we go for counselling and has arranged a session next week. I don''t know what to make of this situation but I still love that woman and am hoping that counselling will help.
Again I would like to thank CS and other forum members for all the wise and symphathetic advice you gave on my numerous posts. I was really going through a rough time and your involvement helped.
GOD BLESS

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As it sounds complex, I.m pleased that you are not only trying to "work this out" on your own, but with the help of a couples counsellor you should be able to be more successful You are absolutely right about being cautious not to reconcile for the wrong reasons.
I'm sure we all hope for the best outcome for you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Spiro | 2010/11/23

I dont know dude, Me I have my own theories when it comes to relationships.

What makes you think what split you apart wont do it again? why does it have to take 7 months for you to want to work things out, 7 months is a long time.

you talk about you crying everytime when going home after the split, how sure are you you wont find yourself in the same sport only now it would be worse.

Dude once the mirror is broken everyone can see the cracks, why do you want to put your daughter and yoursleves through that pain again.

If your relationship was workable, it wouldn''t have come to a break up, 7 years is a long time, so I''m asuming that it could only be a huge problem to lend you there.

you should have used the 7 months to heal and get your life back on track, but it seems to me you''ve been pining away for her, you still have the dream of having your family under one roof.

the best thing you can do for yourself is to move on, the could be someone out there, better suited for you, and who will love you the way you need to be loved. dont throw away such an opportunity for something that will never be.

Reply to Spiro
Posted by: stemere | 2010/11/22

You should 1st look at the problem as to what caused you to split up in the first place, and if you feel that the problem can be rooted out by a couple councilling, then go for it.

you should also be concerned about the environment where you will bring up your daughter, becuase the same way her mother will treat you is the same way she will treat every man out there. and you wouldn''t want to raise a child in a loveless marriage shoulld it come to that.

A single parent is much better two parents who don''t love each other, believe you me.

Good luck

Reply to stemere
Posted by: storm | 2010/11/22

you should be clear about what you both want out of this relationship, I wish you the best.

Reply to storm
Posted by: rhubarb | 2010/11/18

It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved.

Reply to rhubarb
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/18

As it sounds complex, I.m pleased that you are not only trying to "work this out" on your own, but with the help of a couples counsellor you should be able to be more successful You are absolutely right about being cautious not to reconcile for the wrong reasons.
I'm sure we all hope for the best outcome for you.

Reply to cybershrink

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