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Posted by: Kasandra | 2011/08/25

my dying great aunt

Dear Cybershrink

Things been going very positive in my life, I dont know if you remember awhile back I posted about my great aunt, which had a stroke, she didnt really recover, but a nurse been taking care of her in my grandmothers house.

I saw her about 2 weeks ago. I went to visit her when I can and about 2 weeks ago was the last time, she couldnt talk anymore but she did acknowledge with her eyes and emotions that she knows who I am still, I silently said goodbye that day.

She has just been going down hill from there.

Its been very emotional journey for me so far but since I only saw her 2 weeks ago I have been feeling a bit better knowing I did what I could. I started eating better and not feel so down and sad.

My mom now phoned last night to say the doctor had to put pipes and tubes in to help her eat. They dont think its going to be long now.

I am torn, my parents and grandmother said I should not come through now, as she is looking terrible and they think it would really destroy and upset me. That I should hold on to the imagine of her 2 weeks ago and that she can''t understand or acknowledge anyone anymore.

For my sanity I know its the best option but I feel the guilt for not going and trying to do something or just be there..

I just dont know what to do.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi K,
I don' think your sanity is necessarily at risk. As with most events, even such naturally sad ones, much depends on how you choose to interpret it and experience it. Yes, she may look awful compared to how you remember her. It will probably feel upsetting to see her so unwell ; but as you say, you may feel guilty if you don't go to see her again while she is still alive. There's nothing you can specifically do to save her, but if she reconizes you at all, just being there could be helpful. And if it helps you to feel that you did all you could, then it could be worth doing.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Wat... | 2011/08/25

But you r not working but posting on the web today , just go.You will not function at work just go.

Reply to Wat...
Posted by: Kasandra | 2011/08/25

I am at work today and tomorrow.

Reply to Kasandra
Posted by: Wat i think | 2011/08/25

As its the weekend and you do not have work to occupy you just go.
You will feel bad at home so just go.

Reply to Wat i think
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/25

Hi K,
I don' think your sanity is necessarily at risk. As with most events, even such naturally sad ones, much depends on how you choose to interpret it and experience it. Yes, she may look awful compared to how you remember her. It will probably feel upsetting to see her so unwell ; but as you say, you may feel guilty if you don't go to see her again while she is still alive. There's nothing you can specifically do to save her, but if she reconizes you at all, just being there could be helpful. And if it helps you to feel that you did all you could, then it could be worth doing.

Reply to cybershrink

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