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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2011/03/14

my child may be abused

long story short the school did a physic testing on my child as he is in a remedial school, turns out it was refered to child welfare - who have to take my child to for physic treatment...but saw school physic today and she has implied at the age of 7 he knows far to much - and possible he has been abused somewhere along the line..this is freaking me out and fell helpless, advice on how to talk to my child please and try to get o it out if someone has done something to him...i wish for a quick fix but there isnt, but i need to help him deal with this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It doesn't sound as though they handled this matter well, does it ? I'd be very curious to know what sort of discussion they had with him, that suggested to him that he "knows far too much" ? If a child sits down and starts chatting about sexual behaviours, yes, that's rather suspicious. If he knows the correct adult names for body parts, eg, that suggests rather than he's been wellbrought up.

There is no quick fix, and we still don't know whether there is actually anything needing to be fixed. Don't panic and remain calm - a kid can be far more bothered by a panicky response and pressure to reveal things, than by most of what could have happened. Especially when its possible nothing happened.

People who work with kids try to be vigilant for possible abuse, but few have the right expertise, and some fire off unneeded alarms.

Best for him to see a child psychologist who can chat to him pleasantly, and use a number of careful techniques to see if there has been possible abuse.

As the abuse, if any, is quite likely to have occurred at school, I assume they are checking that their own house is entirely in order ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2011/03/14

It would be best if you talk to the psychologist to find out the best ways to handle this situation. It''s much easier for a psychologist to find out whether he was abused through play therapy than it is for a parent who is naturally freaking out. He might not want to tell you because he''s afraid that telling would make you freak out even more.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/14

It doesn't sound as though they handled this matter well, does it ? I'd be very curious to know what sort of discussion they had with him, that suggested to him that he "knows far too much" ? If a child sits down and starts chatting about sexual behaviours, yes, that's rather suspicious. If he knows the correct adult names for body parts, eg, that suggests rather than he's been wellbrought up.

There is no quick fix, and we still don't know whether there is actually anything needing to be fixed. Don't panic and remain calm - a kid can be far more bothered by a panicky response and pressure to reveal things, than by most of what could have happened. Especially when its possible nothing happened.

People who work with kids try to be vigilant for possible abuse, but few have the right expertise, and some fire off unneeded alarms.

Best for him to see a child psychologist who can chat to him pleasantly, and use a number of careful techniques to see if there has been possible abuse.

As the abuse, if any, is quite likely to have occurred at school, I assume they are checking that their own house is entirely in order ?

Reply to cybershrink

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