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Question
Posted by: yali | 2009/11/24

my brother

I have a younger brother who bought a new car on saturday, so he came home with our parents to show me and my hubby his new, it' s lovely and he did himself good for buying a car, then as i stay far from town and he stays in town i told that someother days i would lke him to take me home, it' s like he does' nt like the idea am i too much asking than what he' s expected or he thinks i' m controllling him as i' m his elder sister, please help before i even start telling to come and fetch me from work today. does he wants to ahve privacy with his car or what?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

In the old days, when petrol was cheap, people felt much more free to drive around and to offer lifts, now every time someone asks for a lift, the driver thinks about the high cost. And a long lift also takes time, which maybe he can't easily aford, either, and perhaps at a time that would be hard for him to manage.
If he feels that you believe that as his elder sister he somehow OWES this to you, or that you can just tell him what to do, he is likely to resent this. Tell him you admire his car and his good sense in buying it. And mention that if at any time it is convenient for him to take you home ( or whatever ) when it is on his way, you'd be happy to pay for the petrol, and leave it to him to offer if and when he wants to do so

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Kelly | 2009/11/24

I think the fetching from work is a bit too much hey!
I mean you used to without.
Also perhaps you should offer to pay for petrol, cars don' t run on water. Maybe thats the part he does not like.

I mean as soon as you get your own wheels everyone starts bothering you, its true. This one wants you to take them here, that 1 needs to go there and then everyone seems to know you.
What were they doing before you got a car???

It does kind of work on your nerves, sometimes family also go overboard and think its nothing.
For me, for my close family I would but then again they do everything for me.

So maybe confirm that you will be giving him money for petrol as it is a bit expensive in this time where not many people have money to throw around.
Also maybe ask him if he minds and that is also if he does not have any other plans already.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/24

In the old days, when petrol was cheap, people felt much more free to drive around and to offer lifts, now every time someone asks for a lift, the driver thinks about the high cost. And a long lift also takes time, which maybe he can't easily aford, either, and perhaps at a time that would be hard for him to manage.
If he feels that you believe that as his elder sister he somehow OWES this to you, or that you can just tell him what to do, he is likely to resent this. Tell him you admire his car and his good sense in buying it. And mention that if at any time it is convenient for him to take you home ( or whatever ) when it is on his way, you'd be happy to pay for the petrol, and leave it to him to offer if and when he wants to do so

Reply to cybershrink

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