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Question
Posted by: Puzzeled Pam | 2011/08/24

My boyfriend might be ashamed of me

Hi
I have been dating this guy I met thru my sister..we celebrating our one month annivesary in September. One whole year right. In this year I have only met one of his siblings ..one. I have never met any of his friends. He is a very churchy person and does have friends at church, however he has never invited me to church or even told his Pastor about me...He claims he wants to marry me but I am really doubting this because if he really meant what he says he would have told the most important people in his life about me by now right? Hes met my family and comes over for braais and all but for some reason he never reciprocates. He says the time is not right for me to meet people from church because there will be much opposition. Im so confused I dont know what to think..is he ashamed of me??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, yes, puzzling. Seems rather hands-of, at a distance for a relationship. Depending on what his church is, can't he at least explain why he thinks they would oppose him marrying you, let alone mounting "much opposition". Generally, it's none of a church's business who one of the parishioners chooses to marry - is this an unusually fussy and interfering church ? If so, there could be continuing problems within a relationship let alone a marriage, with someone who gives them that power over him.
Is he ashamed of you - or is he ashamed of them, church and family ? Is he perhaps worried about what you might think of them ?
Either way, he owes you an explanation and a serious discussion.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2011/08/24

He is not embarassed ,but has told you that he has not introduced you due to the fact there will be opposition to you.

you need to find out exactly what this opposition may be?

You dont know what to think......... but surely the most obvious thing to do is ask him!

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Puzelled Pam | 2011/08/24

Thank you Cybershrink thing is he was " hooked"  up at church twice and things never worked out. So probably he is weary of that but I still dont think its a reason. Maybe im wanting too much ..But i want to feellike i am a important part of his life

Reply to Puzelled Pam
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/24

OK, yes, puzzling. Seems rather hands-of, at a distance for a relationship. Depending on what his church is, can't he at least explain why he thinks they would oppose him marrying you, let alone mounting "much opposition". Generally, it's none of a church's business who one of the parishioners chooses to marry - is this an unusually fussy and interfering church ? If so, there could be continuing problems within a relationship let alone a marriage, with someone who gives them that power over him.
Is he ashamed of you - or is he ashamed of them, church and family ? Is he perhaps worried about what you might think of them ?
Either way, he owes you an explanation and a serious discussion.

Reply to cybershrink

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