Our expert says:
Having cancer is never easy, not at any stage. And especially at stage 4, when the possibility of death may haunt one, and the combined symptoms of the cancer and the chemo / treatment can be a heavy burden. Many people become markedly less communicative at this stage. He nay indeed need more emotional space to be alone with his thoughts, but its not practical to guess from a long distance. You might fly to his side to find he does not welcome close company at present. Or that he does. Its not likely that there is "someone else" in an emotional sense, better able to be close to him than you are, but it can be easier to deal with more business-like clinical people than friends, even or especially really close friends.
He may be very aware that it could be unfair to you to ask you to relocate at this stage if he is losing the battle with his illness. The emotional distance may not be because he feels far less about you than you thought - it may be precisely because he DOES care about you.
It might be that you are trying a bit too hard, at a time when his resources to cope with multiple e-mails and articles.
Maybe he is adjusting and becoming prepared to accept his possible end ( always a possibility ) and worries that your way of showing support suggests that you could not face that possibility with him.
Maybe in a face-to-face calm conversation you could get clearer about all this, though with the distances involved, that'd be an expensive undertaking. Maybe you can gently ask him, by e-mail, to clarify what he wants and how you could be most useful, making it clear you will adapt to his wishes.
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