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Question
Posted by: So sad | 2011/11/28

My bird

My bird flew away from home yesterday, and I am devastated. She’ s been in the family for 10 years, we’ ve had her for about three years. She was so cute and we were actually rehabilitating her (she was teased to the point that she would bite ANYONE that came near her). It was completely out of character for her to fly away, we''ve been sitting with doors open with her out her cage for over a year. I am so sad, and I am trying to think that, when she landed, someone liked her and decided they don’ t want to give her back, but people are so flipping insensitive (one neighbor mentioned that it was going to rain and I don’ t know where my bird is, the chairman said he hopes she hasn’ t been eaten by a cat). We couldn’ t hear her, couldn’ t see her when she flew out- she was just GONE. We’ ve put up posters, I’ ve put up notices on Facebook, Gumtree, the pet chat section on this site, even a notice at the front gate of our complex. I’ ve been phoning vets in the area and even in surrounding suburbs…  nothing. The house is so quite without her chirping. I feel just awful. I can’ t stop crying. I’ m 24 and carrying on like a 10 year old that lost her Barbie. How do I deal with this? I don’ t know how long I should hope for before giving up.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some people are just plain mean, but more are just clumsy, and say things they mean well and think might comfort you, without realizing that they'll be hurtful.
And its so normal to feel sad and indeed mourn the loss of any long-term family pet. I suppose a bird who, despite taming and an open-cage policy, happens, even accidentally, to fly outside the house, can easily become confused and get lost or come to various kinds of grief. Finding her way back inside may be a more difficult task than she could manage.
And indeed, especially if tame, a pet can indeed get kidnapped by a stranger, often a kindly person who doesn't know where it came from and how to find its previous home, decides to keep it and care for it.
Grief is never easy, nor quickly resolved, unless the underlying relationship was trivial and shallow, which was not the case here. But it resolves,with time, as you come to focus more on the good times you had together than on the fact of the loss itself. Its often most useful to stop searching after trying more realistic options, without giving up on a possibility that a surprise happy ending might occur - without relying on that less likely event

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: So sad | 2011/11/29

Robbie, my bird was found yesterday morning by the care taker of the complex. So happy!

To the other person, you get a life please. I don''t have to try motivate my answer to you.

Reply to So sad
Posted by: .,/m | 2011/11/29

Stop lying to us, that thing of urs was not found! Its dead...jus get a life1 do u have a man?

Reply to .,/m
Posted by: Robbie | 2011/11/29

i''m really sorry to hear about you bird that had flew away. The same happened to ours, were busy cleaning the cage and just a half a second gone is our -|- atiel, but we were very lucky he landed in the neigbours yard and we were very fortunate to get hold of him, maybe he just landed somewhere save, sometimes they follow the call of same species or others that might also sit in cages. Hopefully she will be found, or is already at someones home, and they trying get hold of you. I was so sad when our bird flew away, i pray that shes ok, and please should you find het let us know.

Reply to Robbie
Posted by: So sad | 2011/11/28

.,/m you are stupid. You are probably one of those people that choose money and material things over pets. In anycase, the security found my bird. Thanks CS and Janna.

Reply to So sad
Posted by: .,/ml | 2011/11/28

Lol well I knw I wouldn''t b*tch so much about the death of a bird! Some people have got real problems and yena ubusy usitefela ngenyoni endala!! hay suka

Reply to .,/ml
Posted by: Janna | 2011/11/28

.,/ml you asshole, conures can live to 25 - 30 years. Do your homework before making such insensitive posts you jerk. I hope you suffer the same kind of loss and I hope NO ONE comforts you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Janna
Posted by: .,/ml | 2011/11/28

Ten yrs or more is a very long lifespan for a bird. The bird was probably a granny and mught have suffered a heart attck or a stroke while flying, and eventually crashed down, dying on impact. Make peace with it and start find some real things to make a fuss about.

Reply to .,/ml
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/11/28

Some people are just plain mean, but more are just clumsy, and say things they mean well and think might comfort you, without realizing that they'll be hurtful.
And its so normal to feel sad and indeed mourn the loss of any long-term family pet. I suppose a bird who, despite taming and an open-cage policy, happens, even accidentally, to fly outside the house, can easily become confused and get lost or come to various kinds of grief. Finding her way back inside may be a more difficult task than she could manage.
And indeed, especially if tame, a pet can indeed get kidnapped by a stranger, often a kindly person who doesn't know where it came from and how to find its previous home, decides to keep it and care for it.
Grief is never easy, nor quickly resolved, unless the underlying relationship was trivial and shallow, which was not the case here. But it resolves,with time, as you come to focus more on the good times you had together than on the fact of the loss itself. Its often most useful to stop searching after trying more realistic options, without giving up on a possibility that a surprise happy ending might occur - without relying on that less likely event

Reply to cybershrink

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