Our expert says:
Some people are just plain mean, but more are just clumsy, and say things they mean well and think might comfort you, without realizing that they'll be hurtful.
And its so normal to feel sad and indeed mourn the loss of any long-term family pet. I suppose a bird who, despite taming and an open-cage policy, happens, even accidentally, to fly outside the house, can easily become confused and get lost or come to various kinds of grief. Finding her way back inside may be a more difficult task than she could manage.
And indeed, especially if tame, a pet can indeed get kidnapped by a stranger, often a kindly person who doesn't know where it came from and how to find its previous home, decides to keep it and care for it.
Grief is never easy, nor quickly resolved, unless the underlying relationship was trivial and shallow, which was not the case here. But it resolves,with time, as you come to focus more on the good times you had together than on the fact of the loss itself. Its often most useful to stop searching after trying more realistic options, without giving up on a possibility that a surprise happy ending might occur - without relying on that less likely event
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