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Question
Posted by: KayGee | 2010/07/08

My BF

I have been going out with him for almost three years, has mentioned marriage but is a bit tight up financially trying to build a home for his mom and late sisters kids (which I am ok with and willing to wait)

BF can sometimes be difficult to understand, he loves puting words in my mouth, finishing off my sentences, twisting my words and making me feel bad!
I would say to him one of his sister kids took something that belongs to me with out asking and he will twist it and say I said " he lets his sisters kids take my things and they are unruly etc"  things that I didnt say but he will say thats what I meant! I think in the 1st year he pretended to be someone he is not, I love playing, making jokes etc he used to enjoy my jokes and he loved playing with but now he is all serios and say before I make a joke I should warn him coz he might just misunderstand it. whenever we dissagree about something he will never agree to be wrong and I am always the fisrt to try and resolve the tention between us, he can sulk for days, I will beg him to improve his mood and he will say that he hates the fact that I want everything to be done my way! He knows that I am easily hurt and forgive easily and I think he abuses my forgiveness because he NEVER says sorry I am always the first to apologize just to keep the peace even though I know he is wrong. Instead of acepting my apology he will just get angrier so that I start begging and he will tell me its my fault he is like that!
I tried to commit suicide the other day, I wrote him a note which he read and laughed, I realized killing myself for him is not worth it he will not even feel any pain but my parents will so that will be unfair on them!

can couples councelling help us?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It'll be interesting to see qwhat other readers have to say, here. He sounds mayhbe a bit too protective of his late sister's kids, but may feel it's his duty as there's nobody epse standing up for them ?
Couples counselling would surely help, so long as he agrees to take part sincerely and to give it every effort so it can work

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/07/09

Your BF sounds a bit like me. Never saying sorry when one is at fault but when the other party does apologise one gets even angrier than before. For me its just a coping mechanism. I do it to protect myself from being hurt by the next person. I get angrier when one is apologising because in my twisted mind that person is to blame anyway, also its for getting attention. When I''m angry I get attention and people feel guilty.
The short fuse is mainly caused by stress. If ones life is out of balance and things are out of place, someone has to take the blame and that someone is usually the one who cares about me the most!

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: Cat | 2010/07/08

Suicide attempt? For HIM?? No Girl. He''s not worth it.

Reply to Cat
Posted by: XXX | 2010/07/08

For some reason or another he appears to be very protective over his Mom and late sisters children.There is nothing wrong with this but it should not interfere with your relationship.
It would appear that he has pushed you aside and no longer his first priority.This is not acceptable as you are also trying to make a life together.He needs to understand this.
After having a chat to him about your needs and the fact that you understand him helping his family,if he still does not come to the party and treats you poorly,you will have to consider your options for the future.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/08

It'll be interesting to see qwhat other readers have to say, here. He sounds mayhbe a bit too protective of his late sister's kids, but may feel it's his duty as there's nobody epse standing up for them ?
Couples counselling would surely help, so long as he agrees to take part sincerely and to give it every effort so it can work

Reply to cybershrink

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