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Question
Posted by: GO1 | 2010/02/19

My 5 yr old

hi there.

I have written to you before. my 5 yr old refused just before christmas to sleep over at her dad''s house and she then wet the bed. I had her at a child pshycologist for a session but since January, my husband has found work finally ( after more than a year) and now i can only see her on saterdays but she is always busy or late or my husband is working or i am working. now my daughter has not slept over since then but only went to visit during the day on her father''s weekends.

I asked him for info over a month and a half ago regarding the relationship my daughter has with the 2 boys his gf has that he stays with now and he has only given me info now and only of the youngest one. he is apparently like 4 yrs old or something. there is another boy and he is apparently 10 yrs old. when I called my ex and his mom in december to query about these boys they told me both are younger than my daughter and my daughter stays in their room with them. which i feel is completely wrong. now he refuses to give more info about that child. my daughter then finally weekend before last called me to tell me that she will be sleeping over. i had nightmares the entire saterday evening and could not wait for her to return sunday afternoon. Up until 2 days ago I have been struggling with her everyday. crying and refusing to talk to me as always and i have to drag everything out of her then she doesnt want to get dressed, she doesnt want to do this nor that. Now her father sms''d me this morning to ask if he is picking her up tonight or tomorrow morning and I do not know what to tell him. I feel uncomfortable letting her go. !!
Her teacher also pulled me close last week and advised that she is hitting boys at school now!!! She is 5!!! She is the most gentle child i know. she has 2 stepsisters on my side (known for 3 yrs as sisters) what to do?? I am lost??
I have not been able to have a session with the phsyc yet and i am very worried as I do not want my daughter to be hurt in any way!!
something else that bothers me is that she always has scratchmarks and small blue marks over her body and when she is with me she doesnt hav accidents and things like they say she does at their house.
I have the feeling t hat something is not right. please advise as you have a lot more experience with ths. how can i ask my daughter if someone is touching her or hurting her.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I understand that this extraordinarily complex situation is worrying for you, and if the child seems very distressed but will not or cannot speak about it, it may be wise to arrange an early appointment with a child psychologist to assess her properly. If she is in some way being abused, the child shrink should be able to find out about that an advise on how to handle this. And if not, then the shrink should be able to make that reasonably clear, and set some at least of your worries to rest.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Concerned | 2010/02/22

I agree with Tasja, Take action now, a ten year old little boy will try experements.....trust yourself and do what you must to keep her away from them!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Concerned
Posted by: Tasja | 2010/02/21

A psychologist told me last year that if we as a mother feel that something is not right with our child ,we are usually right!A mother always knows whats best and when something is not right with our kids,rely on your instinct,and dont let your daughter go to her dads place before you have sorted this out!You are the only one who can protect her!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Tasja
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/19

I understand that this extraordinarily complex situation is worrying for you, and if the child seems very distressed but will not or cannot speak about it, it may be wise to arrange an early appointment with a child psychologist to assess her properly. If she is in some way being abused, the child shrink should be able to find out about that an advise on how to handle this. And if not, then the shrink should be able to make that reasonably clear, and set some at least of your worries to rest.

Reply to cybershrink

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