Our expert says:
Beware of the concept of "soul mates" which causes enormous suffering, and is not accurate. Of course there are some people wih whom you can form specially meaningful relationships. But there is absolutely NEVER one person unique from everyone else on earth, with whom you can have an apocalyptic relationship, while nobody else could be more than second fiddle.
Now, you are suffering from the wisdom of hindsight. You NOW, 20 years later, because the alternate you chose eventually worked out badly, and the recent relationshiop even worse, have decided that the other possibility all that time ago WOULD have been eternally happy.
There is no good reason to believe that. Yes, it MIGHT have been happy then and still ; or it could have gone sour as did the alternative you chose. Whatever choice we didn't make is easy to believe would have been marvellous, because our hope has not had the chance to be disappointed by reality.
Now it sounds as though you have met again, with both of you in currently very miserable relationships, and of course hopefully think you would be happy together. You might indeed ; or maybe not. Its not predictable, especially not from a currently hurtful position.
You each need to decide about what to do with your current relationships, in their own right, deciding in each case what is best for you - NOT based on an assumption that the pair of you could be blissfully happy together. Each can sensibly end the present relationship if it is unhappy and unmendable. Then befriend each other as unencombered friends ( NOT as soulmates ) and see how you get along. If things are as pleasant as you hope, let it develop into a relationship. If not, move on, each in your own direction, and see where else you get to
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.