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Question
Posted by: Thandiswa | 2008/07/14

Must I quit or wait and see


I'm a 36yrs old woman who is 8 mnths pregnant and is just about to get married in December, my only problem is that my husband to be has a 2 daughters 12 & 14yrs old. They stay with her sister and he always complains that his sister is abusing them and I tell him that they are girls they should be able to clean at this stage since they are teenagers. They are so spoiled and in he has bought a house we will be moving together. I'm so worried about that and the other problem is that since I am pregnant we dont have sex any more is it safe to sleep with a man in this condition especially at 8mnths. Please assist how do I treat them I'm getting so worried because I will be staying with them

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Our expert says:
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If the girls are genuinely being abused, that is a serious matter and Child Welfare ought to be involved. But if he is regarding it as abusive to expect a couple of lazy and spoiled teens to help with household chores, that idea itself is almost abusive, rather than the entirely fair expectation. You need to discuss this calmly and seriously with him, making it clear that if you move in ith him and the girls, you would have exactly the same expectations as his sister has, and that it would be unfair to the girls to let them grow up as spolied little princesses who expect others to be their servants. Sex is possible during pregnancy, but best discuss this with your obstetrician, as much depends on whether you have any other problems within the pregnancy, and variations may be appropriate --- vigorous thrusting could disturb a later pregnancy, but there are as you know, many ways for a couple to give each other pleasure, creatively, without sticking entirely to the traditional way

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