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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/09/28

Moving to fast

I met a guy 3 weeks ago and things have been okay, as I decided that I will take things slow. In the past I used to rush things and I got my heart broken. I have been single for about 3 years and enjoy spending time with myself and my daughter. The new guy in my life does not seem to understand that. A week ago I discussed this with him and told him that we need to rush the relationship. On the weekend he started telling me that he realised that I am the one for him and that he wants to marry me. He went on to basically begging me not to leave him. I told hime frankly that I dont know what the future holds for the both of us and that we shouldnt jump the gun. As for the marriage that is a complete no-no as it was too soon. Yesterday he calls telling me that he wants to have a baby with me, this just got me concerned, as he doesnt know my history and I dont know his. I''ve since stopped taking his calls as he is now begging for me to spend the night with him and he doesnt understand when I tell him its too soon. I''ve wanted a relationship but not one where I have to be the sensible one and bring him into line all the time. I enjoy spending time by myself, reading or even going out for coffee alone. I am a single mother of a 4 year old and its not often that I get time away from her. Am i wrong in thinking that he is moving too fast? I told him that once you are in the fast lane you are bound to crash and he still doesnt get the picture.
What should I do, as discussing this with him doesnt seem to help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Anone who declares that he wants to marry you, having known you only 3 weeks, and indeed to have a baby with you, is indeed taking things too fast, and is behaving in a manner that suggests immaturity and impulsiveness. OK, we hear women complaining that the man they love is unwilling to commit to the relationship, but this guy's instant committment is eerie and spooky. Sounds awfully needy. Be very cautious. You have one child, and don't need to adopt another at this stage

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

6
Our users say:
Posted by: Fifi | 2010/09/29

A very sensible person wouldnt rush into serious things like marriage and having kids. There is something not right about him

Reply to Fifi
Posted by: Unique | 2010/09/28

He just wants to get into your pants. The whole urgency thing will vanish wants he gets what he wants.

Reply to Unique
Posted by: me | 2010/09/28

His name is not Darrell???

Reply to me
Posted by: Maria | 2010/09/28

Walk away. You need and deserve a man who is emotionally mature, and he isn''t it.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: G | 2010/09/28

Seems like he is emotional immature and that you are in control of your feelings.

Don''t think the situation will change and you will forever be the one that is in control.

Does not sound as if he has the wualities that will make you look up to him one day and respect him.

Don''t think he is on your level.

Reply to G
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/28

Anone who declares that he wants to marry you, having known you only 3 weeks, and indeed to have a baby with you, is indeed taking things too fast, and is behaving in a manner that suggests immaturity and impulsiveness. OK, we hear women complaining that the man they love is unwilling to commit to the relationship, but this guy's instant committment is eerie and spooky. Sounds awfully needy. Be very cautious. You have one child, and don't need to adopt another at this stage

Reply to cybershrink

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