advertisement
Question
Posted by: RosyOutlook | 2011-02-01

Moving on after losing a spouse

How do you find out whether someone who has lost her spouse, wants to or can move on. Is she ready for the next chapter in her life? Actions speak louder than words!?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't quite understand what you are wanting to achieve here. And you are seeking far too general a response. How someone reacts to the death of a spouse varies widely depending on when, how the person died, the sort of relationship they had, and so on. And it sounds as though you are anticipating that YOU will somehow be "the next chapter in her life". People take time, usually at least 6 or 9 months or longer, to recover to the point of even looking seriously at how they might want to continue with life. If they have problems doing so, an experienced counsellor can help.
As to what or whether she wants, you'd have to ask her

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: again | 2011-02-02

hi you need to repost your second comment as CyberShrink does not go back to original posts

Reply to again
Posted by: RosyOutlook | 2011-02-01

My current girlfriend lost her husband to a car accident. They were married for 8 years and she has 2 kids. The relationship was turbulent, but they stuck to it.
We met about 1,5 years after his death. Both of us were single and unnattached. We hit it off very well and have been going out for nearly 1,5 years now. There are no problems with the kids and us. To sum up, he''s been dead for nearly 3 years and I find her wanting to organise rememberance functions for his BDay and anniversary of his death, etc. This is starting to get me to question where I fit in and where she wants to move on or will. She says she wants to. She get defensive when I talk to her about it, saying I should support her and it hasn''t been that long. That makes me feel guilty and I bite my tongue. Am I fooling myself that things will change out of there own cause she wants to, not because I want it?

Reply to RosyOutlook
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-02-01

I don't quite understand what you are wanting to achieve here. And you are seeking far too general a response. How someone reacts to the death of a spouse varies widely depending on when, how the person died, the sort of relationship they had, and so on. And it sounds as though you are anticipating that YOU will somehow be "the next chapter in her life". People take time, usually at least 6 or 9 months or longer, to recover to the point of even looking seriously at how they might want to continue with life. If they have problems doing so, an experienced counsellor can help.
As to what or whether she wants, you'd have to ask her

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement