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Question
Posted by: Cheyenne | 2010/10/13

moving on

I was in a verbally, emotionally and physically abusive relationship. I finally decided to leave him and I have been fine all this time until I have seen him with another woman. Suddenly I am so jealous and I can''t even remember how abusive the relationship was, questioning what I did wrong and why I pushed him away, I''m acting like a typical abused woman syndrome person. I have 2 baby girls with him, the eldest 2 and the youngest 5 months old. all I need to know is how do I move on from this. how do I stop feeling the pain and also move on. and how do I get to the point where I can be happy that he has moved on and that that he can be happy.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Odd, isn't it ? I hear this surprisingly often from abused women who have left their abuser. Its an echo of how carefully he trained you to blame yourself for his bad behaviour. In fact, you should feel sorry for the new woman who is probably now receiving the abuse. He doesn't deserve to move on or to be happy - why should someone who brings misery to others be happy ? Congratulate yourself on your good fortune to have left him, and consider seeing a counselor to move on.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Mpho | 2010/10/13

Just tell yourself he is not your problem anymore...it''s not you who has to go through what he put you through...You will find someone who will truly appreciate you. I am speaking from experience girl...

Reply to Mpho
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/13

Odd, isn't it ? I hear this surprisingly often from abused women who have left their abuser. Its an echo of how carefully he trained you to blame yourself for his bad behaviour. In fact, you should feel sorry for the new woman who is probably now receiving the abuse. He doesn't deserve to move on or to be happy - why should someone who brings misery to others be happy ? Congratulate yourself on your good fortune to have left him, and consider seeing a counselor to move on.

Reply to cybershrink

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