Our expert says:
Its often saddest when someone means well, without necessarily doing well. In the meanwhile, try giving her specific requests for things she can usefully help with, even if they seem obvious for you. And maybe lock your bedroom door, if that is possible ? Clearly in many ways she needs someone to be controlling, bur resents it when you are so. I wish you luck in finding the sort of community arrangement you have in mind.
I know from personal experience how difficult this sort of situation can be, with even the most loving and thoughtful parent ; and should dementia arise, it can become tragic, and in an exaggerated form, like what you are noticing, when you come to need to parent your parent.
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