Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-26


I cannot seem to get myself to work. I have to force myself everyday recently. I take caffeine pills to give me energy (motivation) to get up, get dressed and show up.
I am feeling extremely aggressive.
This NON-motivation is driving me crazy. I earn a good salary, I get along with my boss and my colleagues. There is nothing wrong with my job other than it bores me to death. This is the second job I' ve found that bores the nonsence out of me.
Further to that my boyfriend left me. And I feel so hurt inside, so badly badly hurt. It' s overwhelming!!! Consuming me, my thoughts, my heart, my self-esteem.

And on 21 May would' ve been my 11th year anniversary. I got divorced last year. I attempted suicide as my husband was extremely cruel to me. I was in hospital and when I wanted to come home he had already moved his girlfriend into my house, my bed, my space. a 10-year marriage, my pain meant nothing to him. Like me, I meant nothing to him at all.

Now my idiot boyfriend has left as well.
I feel really down, then angry beyond compare and I' m hurting so badly. I' m so hurt.
And I cry. A lot. Trying to hold down my job, without the tears. But they' ve lost respect for me because when I do get to work it' s late (like 09:00 and I' m supposed to start at 8:00am).
I' ve been at the job for only 3 months and I' ve already taken 3 days sick leave and 1 day normal leave ' cos I just couldn' t get the motivation to go to work.

Oh, I' m bipolar as well. I need immediate help and I made an appointment with a psychiatrist but can only see me on 22 June.
I don' t want to give up. i want to fight.
I need help. Now.

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Our expert says:
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Yes I agree you need help immediately. Why dont you call the consulting rooms of the psychiatrist and tell the receptionist that your situation is dire and you might need hospitalisation. Normally the psychiatrist will admit you and see you the next morning on his/her rounds if you cannot be seen immediately at the rooms. I also think that you need therapy asap.
Try and find a psychologist in your area or find out if your work belongs to an EAP programme through which you can be referred to therapist.
Hope you get help soon.

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