advertisement
Question
Posted by: Mom | 2011-01-12

Mothers of 9 year olds

Is this normal for my 9 year old, I still have to bath him, wipe him when he makes a poo, dress him for school, lie next to him on his own bed at night until he falls asleep. He has never made himself something to eat, helped me with dishes or anything like that, and then the other day when I got home from work he was too excited to show me how he cleaned his room (I never asked him to do this) and it made me think that I might be spoiling him a bit, he is my only child after all. What do some of the 9 year old boys do out there, Mom’ s please assist.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

No.
These are learned behaviours, not naturally ocurring in a kid of 9, unless taught by an over-protective parent who fails to encourage autonomy and personal care skills. You surely have been spoiling him.
BUT, his excitement to show you that he cleaned his room is excellent news - leap on that, praise him to the hilt, and encourage him to progress rapidly with other skills of independence. Well before the age of 9 not only have most kids mastered all those skills, but they would be indignant if you suggested doing those things for them.
Learning these and other skills is a positive joy for most kids, if given the right encouragement. Start with supervising HIM doing such tings, be lavish in priase for his successes, and emphasize your pride in him so rapidly becoming such a big bot

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

9
Our users say:
Posted by: Mom | 2011-01-13

Well we had a " practice"  wiping bum session, what a disaster, not giving up though.

Reply to Mom
Posted by: Michelle | 2011-01-13

Does he ever go for sleep overs?!!!!??????????????? because I am not sure how that will work out.

Reply to Michelle
Posted by: Mum | 2011-01-13

At the age of 9 you still wipe his bums? No no no! unless if he is not mentaly okay. Who wipes him at school?

Reply to Mum
Posted by: Mom | 2011-01-12

Okay point taken, I knew before posting this that what I am allowing is no good for both of us, guess I just wanted to make sure. I will gradually implement this change, he is going to Grade 4 after all, if I think back at myself in St 2, I did everything for myself. Thanks for the advise guys...

Reply to Mom
Posted by: Also Mom | 2011-01-12

I am also a mom, my girl is 4 and i have to agree with Male. Sorry Mom. Yes we must help her a lot still as she is still very young, but she also does a whole lot of things for herself...... She will dress herself, yes the label will maybe be in front, but still she tries and she is very proud when she gets it right. She feeds herself, wipe herself, open the tap herself to wash her hands, mess a bit here and there, but nothing major. So Male you are right, Mom just leave him to do his thing.......

Reply to Also Mom
Posted by: Male | 2011-01-12

That is just Bullcrap that you do all his work for him when will this child ever learn to stand on his own two feet, ever wondered why young male 30-40yrs does not want to leave their parental home? or become totally dependant on the parents when they get married, or can''t keep a steady job once finished with school, I am afraid you are depriving this child of his dignity and pride, why else would he be so proud in doing something for himself without you around, what will happen if a bus knocks you over tommorrow and you die, who will be doing this for him, My son just turn 6 Dec he bath himself, make himself a sandwich in the afternoon, makes his own bed (with a bid of help from mom or dad) he cleans his own room, helps with dishes, helps to prepare food (even helps me braai), helps me around the house with chores,me and my wife both work when in grade R we thought him to wash and dress himself in the morning make his own cereal,and I tell you to him it is a joy he is learning some much, at 9yrs he should have been mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, be able to plant some seeds for you without supervision,STOP SPOILING HIM you doing him INJUSTICE WOMEN

Reply to Male
Posted by: Star | 2011-01-12

Mine do pretty much everything for them self. I do on the odd occasion bath them, just to make sure everything gets a good scrub, lol! As for the dressing, they have done this since kinder garden. I do think that you might be spoiling a bit, but if you are thinking of changing a few things, I would go slow and in a very positive way. Without him actually noticing what you are trying to do or him noticing that he is starting to do everything him self.

Reply to Star
Posted by: Chantal | 2011-01-12

Well, my son takes a nath on his own, but I still have to tell him to do it. He eats on his own, he wipes himself and he really has his own mind now, If i had to feed him or bath him, then he wouldnt let me because he wants to do it on his own.

Maybe you can ask him to do things on his own, like take a bath while you supervise him

Reply to Chantal
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-01-12

No.
These are learned behaviours, not naturally ocurring in a kid of 9, unless taught by an over-protective parent who fails to encourage autonomy and personal care skills. You surely have been spoiling him.
BUT, his excitement to show you that he cleaned his room is excellent news - leap on that, praise him to the hilt, and encourage him to progress rapidly with other skills of independence. Well before the age of 9 not only have most kids mastered all those skills, but they would be indignant if you suggested doing those things for them.
Learning these and other skills is a positive joy for most kids, if given the right encouragement. Start with supervising HIM doing such tings, be lavish in priase for his successes, and emphasize your pride in him so rapidly becoming such a big bot

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement