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Question
Posted by: Sean | 2011/02/22

Mother very nervous when I'm driving

Hi doc, I am concerned about my mother's irrational level of nervousness when I'm driving. I will be driving along very conservatively and leaving lots of room in front and behind, but the moment someone brakes or innitiates a lane change, she will swear or start pushing an imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side. It irritates me so much because the first thing that pops into my mind is that she must have seen something I've missed. Some days I want to tell her to look for another lift (I drive her to work), but that won't be very cool, so I just grit my teeth.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I've seen this more often than most. Does she drive at all ? I ask, because some people who are confident and comfortable when they themselves are driving and in charge, get nervous whenever anyone else is driving - it's more about not themselves being in control.
In others its either a reflection of a more general anxiety disorder, or a more specific diriving phobia, being scared of road conditions and other drivers, whether or not they're driving.
Its almost certainly not about any specific lack of confidence in you, personally, though it obviously must feel that way.
If she were a horse, I think they're blindfold her, but she might not be keemn on that idea. Especially if there are other indicators of a possible anxiety disorder, maybe she should consider seeing someone for a proper assessment and treatment. Especially if it's particular focussed on driving, CBT ( COgnitive-Behaviour Therapy ) might help a lot.

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: A Mom | 2011/02/23

That does make a difference, and I seriously hope that by the time my daughter is that age I will be over my nerves, lol.
Seriously, maybe you should try joking with her about it, or just tell her to chill and relax, my kid does tha to me, and it does help a bit, I do try and I believe I am getting better, at least I hope so!! Good Luck.

Reply to A Mom
Posted by: Sean | 2011/02/23

Thanks. I maybe should've mentioned that I'm 29 and that I drive extra carefully when she's in the car to try and minimize her "stress".

Reply to Sean
Posted by: A Mom | 2011/02/23

I sympathise with both you and ur Mom. I am in the same boat so to speak as my daughter is learning to drive, and CS is right it is more about Mom not being in control and worried 4 childs safety. I know that is not much help but really it is about us trying to protect our kids and not being able to!! Sorry, hopewfully we will get better at it!!

Reply to A Mom
Posted by: Just a thought | 2011/02/22

Maybe u r a really bad driver................ ask others?

Reply to Just a thought
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/22

I've seen this more often than most. Does she drive at all ? I ask, because some people who are confident and comfortable when they themselves are driving and in charge, get nervous whenever anyone else is driving - it's more about not themselves being in control.
In others its either a reflection of a more general anxiety disorder, or a more specific diriving phobia, being scared of road conditions and other drivers, whether or not they're driving.
Its almost certainly not about any specific lack of confidence in you, personally, though it obviously must feel that way.
If she were a horse, I think they're blindfold her, but she might not be keemn on that idea. Especially if there are other indicators of a possible anxiety disorder, maybe she should consider seeing someone for a proper assessment and treatment. Especially if it's particular focussed on driving, CBT ( COgnitive-Behaviour Therapy ) might help a lot.

Reply to cybershrink

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