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Question
Posted by: Marquesa | 2012/07/11

Mother-in-Law and Husband

In-Law been living in my house 9 years. I support her, other family want nothing to do with her. Husband and self not sharing a bedroom for 3 years and I have no emotional support from him, but everything must always be on time and he is the only one happy. She makes my life a hell and I always look for excuses to leave my house.
He cooks (because he thinks I cannot) will do everything I want to do in the house, just to show me up...TV is his god and he sleeps in front of the TV from 7 - 9pm, then goes to bed....we don''t have friends, nobody invites us anywhere, I cannot live like this anymore. Is it wrong of me to wish myself away? The ex is also still very involved in our lives and the mother-in-law regards her as the only one. Though nobody else wants the monster in law. Why me?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds, comprehensively, like a model Bum. No need to wish yourself away from life, but away from this form of life, of course its natural to want that. Why should you support two parasites and their unpleasant and demeaning treatment of you ? Can't you consult a lawyer and consider divorce, and move out to support yourself, and let the parasites look after each other, and discover how much the Ex wants to help them out ?
That is if they won't change or behave respectfully towards you.
Purple puts it calmly and logically. yes, as a first step, meet with them calmly and explain that while they seem to expect you to work hard to support them, you DEMAND comprehenaive respect and gratitude and support, and if they can't be bothered to provide that, then you'll switch to plan B, as above

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Ref | 2012/07/12

I agree with the shrink on what he is saying.What you have to do is to divorce the damn husband and sell the house if you bought it together.Settle the divorce an look for a place and stay peacefull yin your own

Reply to Ref
Posted by: Purple | 2012/07/12

Because you are the only one who is still doing it.

Sit her down, point out that she lives there by your generosity and that unless she stops criticising and starts showing some gratitude, she and her son can leave.

If your husband wants to cook and clean and leave you to rest, enjoy it. I don''t cook at home either as my husband constantly criticises my cooking, so I just don''t cook anymore, he can do it all. He cooks lovely meals, they''re delicious. I can spend hours reading to mykids, playing games with them, reading a book. I pack the dishwasher when we are done eating. Its a great compromise. I think my cooking is just fine, but its nice to put my feet up and it makes him happy too - he says he finds the cooking destressing.

I just leave my husband to sleep on the couch, its usually too many beers that cause it. He wakes in the early hours of the morning because he is cold.

Until you stand up to your mother in law, it will be you.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/12

He sounds, comprehensively, like a model Bum. No need to wish yourself away from life, but away from this form of life, of course its natural to want that. Why should you support two parasites and their unpleasant and demeaning treatment of you ? Can't you consult a lawyer and consider divorce, and move out to support yourself, and let the parasites look after each other, and discover how much the Ex wants to help them out ?
That is if they won't change or behave respectfully towards you.
Purple puts it calmly and logically. yes, as a first step, meet with them calmly and explain that while they seem to expect you to work hard to support them, you DEMAND comprehenaive respect and gratitude and support, and if they can't be bothered to provide that, then you'll switch to plan B, as above

Reply to cybershrink

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