Our expert says:
Guys, please do try to keep the length of postings down by some careful editing, which will in itself be useful for you.
ou should have, before she moved in, and should now, agree basic rules with your husband, and then have a famil meeting with her and explain the rules very clearly - it is YOUR home and she must keeop to your rules while under your roof, and respect your privacy. And she must take her full share of chores, whatever is on TV. DSTV is so full of repeats, there's no excuse to avoid helping with supper - give her a copy of dish and tell her to figure out the timing of repeats, and if its not repeated soon, it will ceertainly be so, in a month or 2.
Tell her that you won't listen to her comments on your studies until she has completed her degree, nor listen to her comments on depression till she is a fully qualified psychiatrist. Maybe she feels guilt about her husband's suicide, and prefers to deny the existence of depression, as she probably ignored his as well.
Its not that YOU need to try harder - but SHe has to try harder to be amenable to your household rules and simple politeness.
Maybe it was a mistake to invite her to join you, but that's already done. Now set up the house rules. If she moved to a hotel and kept annoying the manager, she'd soon be asked to leave
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